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No Pension Plan for Ghosts
Posted: July 24, 2012, 11:50:27 AM
by Robert_Moriyama
And no comments, either?
In plot, reminiscent of "The Prisoner" (the Patrick McGoohan series, not the recent mini-series). In action, a little Jason Bourne / "R.E.D." Add a pinch of "Inception" / "The Matrix". Apply electrodes and bake...
Re: No Pension Plan for Ghosts
Posted: July 26, 2012, 10:35:04 PM
by Lester Curtis
Not bad -- vivid scenery, and the interrogation was quite believably written.
I choked on this, though:
"You know protocol, ma'am. Even a successful subject is to be terminated upon completion of testing. The training, and the mental suppression interrogation system both advance beyond the capabilities of our enemies at the expense of our least valuable agents. We can't be sending broken agents back into the field. That's why we picked Abbas. He's 52 years old, no family, failing physically. There wasn't much mileage left in him."
All tell and no show, the worst aspect of it being a recitation of stuff that both parties are well aware of. The paragraph screams for attention in exactly the wrong way.
Other than that, not bad. The ending was interesting; not sure just what was going on, but it fit.