The Assassin by J. Howard McKay
Posted: August 12, 2018, 07:44:02 PM
Okay Howard. Your writing caught the attention-to-detail, very well.
For me, the story flowed well and it was easy to sense your mood as you wrote it. The beginning was definitely solid and well thought out. I could feel the boundaries of the story very well.
In the middle of the story, you let it flow freely and thus my favorite part as you let chaos have a chance.
The ending was a mix of the beginning and middle with a satisfactory ending.
Critiques: Words catch this mind in a way most can't fathom. Words and names have power above what most writers strive for.
1. Kreshenko definitely conjured up mother Russia. Good? Bad? That's up to a reader to decide.
2. Scort Bislortion and 'Scott' appeared along with 'dislocation' and 'abortion'. Good? Bad? That's up to a reader to decide, for me, a distraction
3. Viragana was instantly' vagina', 'virgin' or 'viagra'. Subliminal? For some, definitely. Again, a distraction.
Of course, my assessment is definitely not along the lines of normal as I see/read much differently than others.
Overall. Enjoyed your style of writing and thanks for taking the time to write and submit it to the world. If you had chosen your key wordage a bit more 'less metaphorical' I would have enjoyed it even better. Oh, and Vingolo worked very well for me.
For me, the story flowed well and it was easy to sense your mood as you wrote it. The beginning was definitely solid and well thought out. I could feel the boundaries of the story very well.
In the middle of the story, you let it flow freely and thus my favorite part as you let chaos have a chance.
The ending was a mix of the beginning and middle with a satisfactory ending.
Critiques: Words catch this mind in a way most can't fathom. Words and names have power above what most writers strive for.
1. Kreshenko definitely conjured up mother Russia. Good? Bad? That's up to a reader to decide.
2. Scort Bislortion and 'Scott' appeared along with 'dislocation' and 'abortion'. Good? Bad? That's up to a reader to decide, for me, a distraction
3. Viragana was instantly' vagina', 'virgin' or 'viagra'. Subliminal? For some, definitely. Again, a distraction.
Of course, my assessment is definitely not along the lines of normal as I see/read much differently than others.
Overall. Enjoyed your style of writing and thanks for taking the time to write and submit it to the world. If you had chosen your key wordage a bit more 'less metaphorical' I would have enjoyed it even better. Oh, and Vingolo worked very well for me.