Aphelion

Bill,<br>You've got to remember that you know a lot more about many forms of science than the rest of us, and even more than the lay reader.<br><br>I was shocked by your statement. I, like so many others, bought into all the hype about dirty bombs that is constantly shovelled on us. So much so, I started looking online for a second opinion as soon as I read it. Sure enough, all "informed" sources I could find agree with your assessment (although the image of white-coated scientists filling manure hoppers full of radioactive waste each day deserves it's own story). So I can't refute you, thusly. ;)<br><br><br><br>As far as the story goes, as others have commented, the voice here stuck me. You can hear the nervousness, sadness, and bitterness clearly.<br><br>However, voice not the same as character depth. If Sara had said something endearing about herself, something about her future... such as as being pregnant and looking forward to feeling the baby move the first time... something about hopes, or plans, or dreams... anything that helped the reader connect with Sara, would have increased the effectiveness of the voice tenfold. Maybe something about how she saw the bombers before it happened, and didn't understand what was going on, or recognizing the face in the next bed as one of the bombers.<br><br>After that, it's all just "voice." Telling us what happened instead of showing. This plot happened before, instead of now, and eyewitness testimony instead of a true story with character arcs (and integrated plot development) lessens the impact, at least for me.<br><br>Nate

30 out of 220? it's normally that high? what the...

and Nate, wouldn't you say voice IS character? maybe not depthful necessarily, but intrinsic to character nonetheless.

Lee

<br>No, I wouldn't say voice IS character. They're connected, but not the same thing. Intrinsic? Certainly.<br><br>Voice has two important meanings, swiped from the Wikipedia. First, Grammatical Voice: active or passive. When the subject is the actor of the verb, the verb is said to be in the active voice. When the subject is the patient, target or undergoer of the action, it's passive voice. <br><br>More related to this discussion is voice as indicator of tone and point of view. This is where third person omniscient is a voice, but Huck Finn's narration is in his voice. However, Huck leaves things out if he doesn't understand them, want to admit them, or thinks they're unimportant. Through reading what his voice says, we can begin to understand his character, but what he doesn't say in his voice can be as important to interpretation of the character as a whole.<br><br>So, connected, but not quite the same thing.<br><br>Nate