Aphelion

I want to start by saying this review was not some opening shot on a war of words or something personal between myself and Wishbone. I asked him to critique this story, and he warned me in advance that he had strong issues. He also politely gave me the option of getting his notes by private email, but I told him to go the public route. <br><br>As I told him, I'm not above being an object lesson to other writers if the case may be. Besides, I thought the discussion might get more of you out there to actually read the story.<br><br>Still, it's always difficult to know how to answer comments such as these. If an author responds point by point, he or she comes off as petty. Not responding is tacit agreement, that I felt I wrote some terribly confusing waste of time.<br><br>I don't feel that way at all, but I knew there would be disagreement. <br><br>I got thumbs-up in drafts from my fellow Nightwatchers Jeff, Dan, and Kate. Then mixed marks came from Jaimie, who supplied some really top-drawer line edits with his comments. Finally, Robert seemed to regard it as something of equal value to gum on the bottom of his shoe, and pointed out a number of the same items that Wishbone mentioned before giving me his own line edits, four days before it had to run. Mumble, grumble...<br><br>[Perhaps this will help illustrate the competitive/collaborative environment behind the scenes of Nightwatch. But I digress.]<br><br>While I do have the answers to all of Wishbone's notes, I'll only respond to four of them, unless he asks me to. That makes me only halfway petty. :)<br><br>1) I couldn't help but giggle how the phone is impossible, isn't any different, and couldn't be scrambled like that. Then laughably it's not understandable how Simon could "thumb" the camera around to continue his video conference. This is the future. It's different. There isn't any current cell phone that I know of that can send and receive live video, and in order to also be able to photograph something the camera mounted in it would need to be able to move. It needs to face the speaker for conferencing, but face away so the user could see what the camera is capturing on the screen. To do that, the camera could be mounted in the side & flip back & forth, or be on the cover, which then would need to swivel. Both of those options could easily turned by a single thumb flip.<br><br>As for the signal scrambling, Dragon's Egg established that Nightwatch's communications could not be monitored by the CIA or NSA. That should then include the transmission between the earpiece and the phone, or it's not very secure.<br><br>2) "Looking glass." If you take the virtual tour from the incorrectly formatted link at the end of the story and go to the Presidential Suite, you'll see a ton of mirrors as you walk around. "Mirror" is used about ten times throughout the story. I don't know about you, but my high school English teachers stressed not repeating the same word excessively. (BTW, you are correct and there is only one such suite. In my research, I found conflicting info. Their media kit listed one, but a fact sheet in another spot listed two, although I can't find it, now. I thought about it, and decided it didn't hurt to keep it two. Perhaps that was a poor choice. The Drake's 2005 media kit makes it more plain that there is only one.)<br><br>3) This is not named at a specific point, but instead generally. You seem to need all the points to wrap up with a neat little bow. It's perfectly ok to keep an audience in the dark, temporarily. Plus, this story was never meant to answer all the questions raised. On the contrary, it's assignment was to complicate the Nightwatch universe, introduce the potential of what Prometheus (introduced in Orion Affair, and hinted at before then) could be capable of, and a few other bits Jeff would probably prefer I did not mention. Simon himself does not figure it all out (although, yes, I do know everything that was happening), and he's not supposed to, at least not yet. Further, these characters now have complicated pasts, ones that are ripe for other stories to elaborate on, and interconnect even more than I have. <br><br>If you read the Series Bible, most of these characters didn't have a past. Simon had two ex-wives. One of them was Morna, and the other had no name. He is a civil engineer who is also an intelligence operative. Well, how did that happen? They don't go together. Stephanie had her encounter with Gryphius, but that was all anyone knew about her. She had no family, no past before then. Why was Callow qualified to run the Lower Echelon? No other parts of Nightwatch organization besides Melvin Squibb and the pilots had been seen since Draqon's Egg until Jaimie put Paula in his story (written after I wrote mine, but appearing before this one, and he introduced her for me well). There's no sense of the powerful hierarchy that there is any large corporation, and no interaction between people who work there, unless you count the now-evil Kevin or Callow's secretary. That's not very real. <br><br>4) Simon's garage. Nowhere does Stephanie tell him to toss out Maria's belongings. She's not being insensitive at all. It's not even stated that she knows what is in it. Moreover, those items have been stored for more than twenty years, so even if she did know, this could have been her way to try and get Simon to begin reconciling his past, and letting go of Maria. As for being confused by Tom Darby's garage, I'll stick my tongue out and childishly state that my garage was written that way almost half a year before Dan put one into Fly By Wire. :)<br><br><br><br>As I said, I expected a mixed bag in review, and may have come off as increasingly petty as I replied. Perhaps I will turn out to be an example of how not to write a story, after all. <br><br>What did the rest of you think? Please, voice your opinion. I'd really like to hear it.<br><br>Nate

Let me therefore take this opportunity to try and highlight a few more of the good things about this story. First of all, background. As Jeff also mentioned, we here get some fascinating insights into both Simon's and Callow's past. The characters really do get fleshed out even more, and as a developing point of the series as a whole, this story is marvellous.

<br>Thanks.<br><br>

I must admit, I would like to read Robert's comments very much ;-)

<br>As long as he says it's okay, I'll send them to you.<br><br>

Nate, I hope nobody thinks of you as petty. I certainly don't, and I would of course like an answer to any question or doubt I have put forth in my critique. If you can handle my critique, I should certainly be able to handle your defense against it. I should consider myself a very poor critic indeed, otherwise.

<br>Petty in this regard was meant as more of a tongue-in-cheek remark. I don't feel especially petty, and never meant to imply you were, either.<br><br>

1) I used to work as a software developer for a company that makes cell phones, so I do know something about this.

2) The technology you are describing is not futuristic. In fact, it's in widespread use today, at least in Denmark. I find it hard to believe that we should be that far ahead of the US, technologically speaking. Especially since much of said technology is produced by American companies, among others. This technology is known as Third Generation cell phone technology, 3G for short. It includes, besides fast wireless internet access (fast enough to view streaming video on the phone directly from the net), live video phone calls. And although at least one early-model 3G phone did actually have a "swivelable" camera mounted on the side of the phone, most of the newer models have two cameras instead. One on the front for video calls, or for taking pictures of oneself, and one on the back for taking "ordinary" pictures and video.

<br>I feely admit to being a bit of a Luddite when it comes to some forms of technology. Cell phones are one of them, so I did some web searches as soon as I read this. Nowhere I could find, even among the 3G references, was there anything about being able to send & receive live video, realtime. They said you could record video, but not video conference as in the story. Perhaps Denmark is that far ahead.<br><br>

True, I try to avoid that as well, but only if I can find a suitable synonym, preferably one that is in widespread use. If nobody actually uses "looking glass" when referring to a mirror these days, I wouldn't use it. If there is a ton of mirrors, maybe it would be better to describe other aspects of the room instead. Wallpaper, paintings, carpeting, whatever. Something else to make the room come alive, rather than mirrors, mirrors, mirrors. Besides, as you said, this is the future. Perhaps in the year 20?? some of the mirrors have been replaced with something else?

<br>The exact year in the future is classified, but it's not that many years, really (all those time machines not withstanding). As for describing the other aspects as a better choice, you may be right. My own speech patterns are not necessarily the norm, and reaching the audience is the most important part.<br><br>

My problem is with the word "temporarily", since I felt even more in the dark after reading the story than before reading it. Did I just not get it? Was I supposed to understand most of what was going on? I freely admit that this is perfectly possible. While I consider myself fairly intelligent, for some reason I was never any good at mysteries. I never guess who the killer is until the detective reveals it at the end...

<br>That's hard to answer. For me, it all makes sense... but I wrote it. Dan & Jeff were not totally confused, but they read drafts as it went. I guess that jury is still out on that until more voices are heard.<br><br>The X-Files thing was harsh. Ow. ;)<br><br>

I'll just as childishly state that I think she's being insensitive as hell, and that the authors should take publication dates into account :P

<br>Okay. Zing. Bang. Score. You got me on publication dates, but I still don't think she was being insensitive.<br><br>Nate

In Denmark where I live, I think this would be considered two steps short of taking a bribe. I think it's astounding that law enforcement officers in the US are allowed to rent out their authority in such a manner. That would be like... a soldier working as a mercenary for another government or private enterprise between tours of duty.

- Wishbone

<br>The cop was never intended to be a valet. In high-powered events where many important people are involved (such as senators, movie stars, religious leaders--the guests at the wedding) police officers are assigned by the city they work for as additional security & traffic control. This cop was supposed to be that--a cop making sure no one threatened the event or the line of limosines waiting in traffic when he spotted a rusted-out Geo in the line.<br><br>Nate

This was an ambitious piece and clearly Nate put a lot of effort into it.

<br>You aren't kidding, let me tell you. 101 hours with the file open, according to MSWord's File Statistics. That doesn't count in time marking up printouts, either.<br><br>

I too wondered why we were presented with a yet another time travel story, and while I wouldn't presume to tell anyone what they ought to write about, I think the series has run into an issue of time machine proliferation that should be addressed.

<br>I think some defense of Jeff is in order here. When I first proposed this story, it was going to be a time travel story. Jeff basically said, "No way. we've got too much of that already." So then I came back with the idea of it being a trick, and that there would be no actual time travel. He grudgingly let me go ahead, but he checked on my progress. (With an apparent mixture of fear and curiousity, I might add.) I thought the high number of travel stories would help convince readers that my time jumps were real.<br><br>Jeff is on top of that, really. 31% of the stories have had time travel (or supposed time travel) so far. 4 out of 13. That's not half, but it is a high percentage. However, as planned there were some additional stories that did not appear because those authors were unable to finish. That would have lowered that percentage.<br><br>However, I would add that Nightwatch is a primarily a science fiction venue. Time travels, aliens, ghosts, menaces from outer space... this is the stuff we geeks thrive on. I'm sure there will be more of them at some point in future stories.<br><br>

I think Nate, in pursuit of his (in)famous Way of the Five Senses, has conflated the notion of description with the idea of bringing a scene to life. I think it's a rally killer to spend a paragraph describing the entire contents of a room. I reject the idea that such description by its presence adds life to a scene or makes it more real. Good writing can draw a reader in other ways. And as has been said many times here, the reader brings quite a lot to the story as well, so having everything dictated can sometimes prove stifling in a way.

In general, I agree totally that you want to engage the reader's five senses, I just prefer a more organic method that keeps the story moving.

Nate's best writing here occurred when the description was the lightest and integrated into the narrative rather than set off in a plodding paragraph designed to ensure he covered every possible aspect of the scene he was working in--it seems, sometimes, well, self-conscious (sorry if that means nothing--it's just how it seems to me).

<br>Dan, I respect your views, and would never discount them. <br><br>I did pay attention to your comments about what you felt was a mechanical style in "Another Sarah", and you seem to be feeling that same way again. In general, my wife completely agrees with you about the description, and says so whenever I can nag her into reading one.<br><br>However, I'm not ready to agree with you just yet. I think the nearly constant disscussions about my aparent obsession with "The Way" hypersensitizes readers to their appearance, and prevents an unbiased viewing. I see this as just a style. I don't write every story this way. <br><br>In all honestly, sometimes I do feel self-conscious when writing--like a certain vocal critic of me is about to jump out from behind a tree and sneer, "Hah! You didn't describe the smell of the carpet! Don't you follow your own silly advice?"<br><br>Here, I knew Simon was going to be shocked like a fish out of water (which is why he has to go outside & gulp for air at the end). He would be drugged and dropped into a situation where he didn't have the ability to get a handle on what's going on around him. Now, I've never been drugged, but anywhere I was shocked in extreme the scene around me became surreal and otherworldly. I became hyperaware of my surroundings, and everything was burned into my memory, whether I could correctly perceive it or not.<br><br>I wanted that "feel" for this story. Maybe that was a bad choice. Time will tell, I guess.<br><br>

There was an odd slip into a campy noire-ish feel when Simon met Jane Messenger. It might've been intentional, but I dunno, for me it too came across as self-conscious and out of synch with the tone of the rest of the story, eg, ...a sparkling, red evening gown with a fantastic blonde poured into it... Kinda cliched for me. Further, she hit on him so hard and sudden, Simon shoulda been suspicious, not to mention offended; after all, his whole reason for being there was his wife, who he hasn't gotten over yet. Why jump his bones a la James Bond? If it was to distract him, well Simon's better than that, isn't he? And why go to the trouble to explain that Jane is this kick-ass bodyguard--seemed gratuitous as I don't recall her doing much of anything other than giving up the balloon knot (but then this is a fairly intricate plot and I may have missed something in the closing segment where Simon is hashing out exactly what happened).

<br>Actually, I think you may be onto something here. <br><br>Simon is supposed to be an intelligence operative, but he's almost always used as an equalizer instead. He comes in, blows up the bad guys, and leaves. The last time I remember he was undercover was when he was strutting about in his cape during "Rogue Harvest", trying to bluff his way in. I wanted to change that, or at least exercise some of those skills.<br><br>Simon's bluff in "Rogue Harvest" was not a lot of precedent to go on. 007 is the biggest and the best at that, and I tried to model things after his style. I even read some Ian Flemming to get the feel. But at the same time, I didn't want all the spy gizmos, because I think that keeps James Bond from being all that compelling. Simon instead is a man who as to think on his feet, and survive on his own skills. I felt he needed a complicated plot to "find" himself.<br><br>I guess my goal was to get the effect of James in the visage of our beloved Simon. Is it true to the style of the rest of the series? Maybe, maybe not. Again, time should tell.<br><br>Thanks for reading it.<br><br>Nate

Wishbone<br><br>You do realize, of course, that you've made a terrible mistake. You admitted to reading all (or nearly all) the Nightwatch stories. On behalf of the entire Nightwatch Writers' Circle and Knitting Society, I hereby request your comments on ALL stories in the series. You will note, if you check the lettercol for the months in which Nightwatch entries appeared, that we got very few comments overall, and most of those were from other participants in the project! So we'd all like an honest opinion from a careful reader who DOESN'T know the characters from the inside.<br><br>And yes, yes, I'll try to send you comments on the story you sent to Nate and me. Of course, I gotta pick short stories for the December/January Aphelion, and come up with an entry for the contest I enter every damn year (Toronto Star) ...<br><br>Robert M.

He asks you to. ;) Oh, not necessarily all of them, but preferably more than just the four. And by the way, "You're not supposed to know that yet", or, "All shall be revealed later" are perfectly acceptable answers to many of my issues, provided it's the truth of course. I don't mind being in the dark, as long as I know that's where I'm supposed to be :)

- Wishbone

<br><br>All right, but this is going to take some time. I don't know if I can answer them all completely, but I can surely tell what I intended.<br><br>

The intial scene, a classic flashforward scene, did well in kickstarting the story. It immediately captured my imagination, and made me think “How on earth did he wind up in THIS situation?” However, when I reached that part of the story where the scene was played again, the heavy editing done to the opening version of it made it (the opening version of it) seem misrepresenting of the story. Somewhat like a movie trailer where actions and consequences that don’t actually match have been put together. When you see the movie itself, you think “Huh? That’s not how it happened in the trailer!”

<br>This was one of the items Robert brought out in his notes, and Jaimie as well. Obviously, this scene is a teaser, as is any flashforward scene in a story. It shows Simon in a situation that logically, he couldn't, or certainly shouldn't be in, and then things press on to get to where he will be at that point.<br><br>The opener was the first scene I wrote, almost exactly as it appears now. Later, as the story "rejoined" itself, it needed something more. Other things were happening, other motivations in play, and another character was there. So I expanded it.<br><br>Then it didn't match the beginning, but with those extra bits added back in to the opener, it was too slow. First and foremost, it didn't hook the reader hard enough or quickly enough. I felt above everything else, I had to hook the reader, or it wouldn't matter what I wrote later.<br><br>It was then suggested that I abbreviate the latter version so that it wasn't so repetitious. But then I would lose the motivation for the catfight, and also couldn't explain the fake Callow as needed for the Prometheus plotline that's deduced at the end of the story.<br><br>Still, a section of the story repeated itself, and I risked boring the reader. (The "Hey, I read this already!" effect.) The thing of it was, though, that the second time through, the scene doesn't read the same. It's a different emotional experience (at least, it is for me when I read it). <br><br>The analogy to my fellow Nightwatchers I used was a really good glass of lemonade on a hot day. At first, you just wants it to be wet, because you're thirsty. Later, as that thirst is satisfied, you want to enjoy the sour and the sweet. At least, I know I do.<br><br>Other solutions were suggested, including showing the scene the second time from a different POV. I didn't go for that because there weren't any other POV shifts in the story to provide precedent or parallelism, and thought it would stand out, glaringly, from the rest of the story.<br><br>In the end, this was the most effective way I could think of. Anything else I found or was suggested to me did not seem to garner more of a net effect, and weakened the story.<br><br>

Dr. Paula Mankiller’s involvement in the story seems… unnecessary.

<br>Let me grab a couple of Paula crits and handle them all at once.<br><br>Well, which way is more compelling? Callow hands Simon the ring and tells him to go to Chicago and investigate, or a hot babe (who's obviously pissed at him) tells him to fix whatever his womanizing did? The idea that she couldn't stand him implied that she either felt Simon's charms and was hurt by them, or was opposed to them in principle. Her anger, the womanizing comment, and the ring, all lead readers in the wrong direction--helping to increase the emotional effect later when the truth comes out.<br><br>As for the car she provided being "too much," I noted in some of my earlier comments, that Nightwatch is a huge, multi-million (perhaps billion) dollar enterprise, but it never seems that way. The top execs would be powerful people, fully capable of making their minions' lives miserable. Paula should only have had to make a couple phone calls. Those at the other end of the call, all they had to do is find a crappy car--because all that really happened as far as they were concerned was that Simon got a junker. ("Ha-ha. I can't wait to razz him when I see him.")<br><br>Every executive I've ever met has been completely capable of carrying such a grudge. Also, I never said she wasn't hurt personally. I rather like the idea that she was.<br><br>It is also never said that Frost couldn't have told Paula it was a wedding. If she was really chasing the billionaire romantically, she probably would have known that, anyway. This goes back to keeping readers in the dark. They found out about the wedding quickly enough that I think mentioning it here was fine.<br><br>

“Politically, they tend to back conservative congressmen who are strong with the religious right, but will switch sides for a candidate more interested in preservation”.
I might not be an expert on American politics, but to me, this sounds self-contradictory. I’d expect a candidate who cared a lot about preservation to belong far out on the left wing of politics.

<br>True enough, but "consociation" has more than one meaning, and I thought those religious connections could be useful in future stories.<br><br>

I cannot believe Simon’s lack of reaction to the sight of his dead wife’s ring. He may be stunned, but not that stunned. A “Where the hell did you get that?!” is the least I’d expect from him.

<br>Maybe. I took it to play upon his tremendous feelings of guilt, which generally chokes people up. Plus, Simon doesn't lose his head very often. It takes a big thing to make him even swear. This was just a meeting, up to that point.<br><br>

I never had the impression that Simon was afraid of flying. And just because Nightbird One has better sound insulation than a standard 737, why should that make the ordinary plane a “deathtrap”?

<br>The feeling I've gotten about Nightbird One as it evolved in stories, was that it has been tweaked and parts replaced until it's practically as impervious as Air Force One. I fully get the impression that it would take a missile to scratch the darn thing, assuming one could make it past the gizmos.<br><br>If you were used to that, how would you regard a regular plane?<br><br>

Stephanie Keel had been his friend…
This highly detailed description of Stephanie and their history seems like it’s meant for new readers, who haven’t read any of the previous Nightwatch stories. If every story has to explain the complete background of everyone involved in it, the stories are going to get longer and longer from sheer background material.

<br>It's a fine line we have to walk. We don't want to overburden series fanatics, but don't want to lose new readers because they won't know the characters and what's going on, either. I think as you go back and review all those other stories you'll see descriptions of Simon, Stephanie, Tom, & Nightwatch in every one.<br><br>

…bespoke a standard of living that was considerably beyond his means.
Uhm, yes. It’s a fancy hotel, catering to the rich and powerful. Why is this surprising?

<br>Knowing fancy hotels exist is not the same as experiencing one for yourself. I came from very blue collar origins, so such splendor always strikes me when I see it. I didn't get the impression that Simon had spent much time with the upper crust of society, so I wrote his thoughts to closely parallel my own as I saw those scenes in the virtual visit. Plus, it emphasized the fish out of water theme.<br><br>

“Not until nine?”
Why on earth didn’t he just invite Simon for nine o’clock, if he wasn’t supposed to attend the actual wedding?

<br>A couple of reasons. First, I intended the real Frost to be, indeed, hosting a real wedding, leaving the time when Frost was occupied for the fake Frost to make his play. Second, the 9:00 meeting that happens is a Prometheus operation, not a part of Callow's own plans, and thus is unlikely to have been on his timeline with advance notice. Third, Simon never gets any. He's supposed to be a womanizer, but apart from Orion Affair, where he left and rejoined woman in bed, he never seems to score. <br><br>

“Doctor Simon Litchfield, age fifty-four…”
There seems to be a significant number of things that they DON’T know. Of course, in hindsight, it’s likely that Callow is actually their information source, and he might have been selective in what he told them.

<br>Maybe Callow was, and maybe he wasn't. :) <br><br>

“My machine,” Frost explained, “diverts the temporal energy…”
Pardon me, and I know I’m no quantum physicist, but this whole explanation sounds like a load of hogwash to me. Is this deliberate? Simon does wonder later on, if his drink was spiked with drugs to make him believe this explanation more easily.

<br>Bill Wolfe is the in-house physicist, and will probably label my theory as ridiculous tripe. However, it was based on information I researched under string and unified field theories. Thankfully, it didn't need to be<br>scientifically watertight. Simon, as is noted, is drugged, so he believes it.<br><br>My real concern was the many sharp minds here at Aphelion. I tried to construct a lie that would seem plausible to the other authors who would read it, which is much, much harder than the general public. In my favor was the number of time travel stories we all see, but against it was that many of those same people who wrote those stories and did their own research. I fretted over Frost's explanation quite a bit, and I hope others bought it.<br><br>

“…I made it a rule that any time action within two hundred years prior to now…”
Wouldn’t that have to be one thousand years? If that’s the duration of the parallel universe? Another thought occurred to me at this point. What if they’re already in a fractured timeline? They wouldn’t know about it themselves, so given the theory behind the “universe-splitter/time machine” it would never be safe to use, without running the risk of effectively destroying the universe.

<br>Do you know who your ancestors were and what they did for the last 1,000 years? I sure don't know mine that far back, and doubt many others do. I felt any more than 200 years would be unbelievable. <br><br>As for already being in the succession of the fractured timeline, that's certainly true, and tried to use a bit of that confusion when he finds Frost & "dead" Jane, but don't think it came through well. Thankfully, Simon just had to believe the 200-year condition, not everyone.<br><br>

“…a few holidays a year, when energy consumption is minimal.”
I wondered about this at the time. Thought about Christmas lights and so on. But he continues later on:

“After eleven o’clock on Christmas Eve…”
Did you research this? Or is it guesswork? I would think that private Christmas lights may indeed be turned off around eleven, but I’d expect public ones (which I’d imagine would outweigh the private ones by a lot) would mostly be kept on throughout the night. Store windows, street decorations, and so on. I’d think that summer, especially around vacation time, would be the ideal time for something like this.

<br>I have a pdf report of energy consumption/production from an Ohio energy company that I think Robert found for me that charted usage throughout the year. Right around Easter and Halloween are indeed the lowest usage. Peak usage is in the summer months, prime vacation time, because air conditioning uses far more electricity than Christmas lights. December is actually in the midrange for consumption. As for Christmas Eve night, I made that up. I wanted something just plausible to trick Simon & readers, since they don't send him and don't use any energy after all.<br><br>

Lending the helping hand she was obviously inviting…
At this point, he is about to go rescue his long-lost wife. Would he really find it appropriate to stick his hand in another woman’s cleavage?

<br>Well, Simon's already been there, already done that--only a couple of hours earlier. She was trying to distract him, and it did a bad job. Even Simon wondered about her being a diversion as she wrapped her body around him in the goo. However, she did a better job when she blew in his ear as the "power" came on.<br><br>

…any respect she had for him was gone…
Why? I don’t see him doing anything worth losing her respect for him.

<br>Overreaction? Perhaps, but I think if the significant other of someone I was banging yanked out an entire handful of hair from my head, I'd lose respect for said person when they just said "calm down."<br><br>

Dammit! Why did she have to come out of the shower so early?
Uhm, because he and Jane made a lot of noise, perhaps?

That’s not the way it happened twenty-one years ago.
How on earth does he know? He wasn’t there.

<br>I'm willing to cut Simon slack that the forensic examination of the murder scene could have given him more details than we know. Still, I can see your point.<br><br>

“I’ve already paid that debt…”
What was this about? To which twenty-one year old debt is Simon referring? Are we supposed to know?

<br>Backstory. Jeff and I never came to an agreement on what this could have been, so I left it open for a later story to make it up.<br><br>

He promised that he wouldn’t go to work.
Is this a reference to something disclosed in a previous story, or is it more new background on Simon? I’ve read the entire Nightwatch series, but I might have forgotten something. Here, it is never explained in detail what went on that day.

<br>It's not so much new background as another part of the timeline of the day Maria was murdered. Generally speaking, and I think there's enough pieces to get this, he left the house on the pretext of shopping after promising not to go to work, went to work anyway, and came home to find his wife "murdered" while he worked.<br><br>

What’s the point of this? Why this faked murder of Jane by the equally fake Frost? From Simon’s POV, this has to constitute a temporal paradox. The only difference between this universe and his own, is him, and in his own universe, Frost most certainly did not kill Jane at this time, or indeed at all.

<br>I'd prefer not to answer this and the other questions about the ending until I see how many people figure it out or not. I don't want to bias the result.<br><br>

A spear of searing pain burned into him from his side…
How? The suit is a fake. If it’s designed to shock him into unconsciousness, then his side, where the suit was torn, would be the only place he wouldn’t experience any searing pain.

<br>Ah, but the now-exposed bare ends of the wires in the suit can give even higher dosage than they were supposed to at that point, yielding this result. Besides, Simon didn't remember how he left from his first trip, so he's not sure how they're supposed to work.<br><br>

He grabbed the arm of the bellhop…
Why does Simon feel an overwhelming need to inform the bellhop of this?

<br>Well, you can't keep a scene going in internal monologue, forever. :)<br><br>

It was Maria!
Why?! Why the hell does she drive right up in front of him, as well as in front of the real Frost, Jane, and the number of agents undoubtedly still present at the scene?

<br>Boy, how anti-Hollywood is your thinking. ;) Sure, they could have nabbed him at some other time. Someone could have sniped Jane and someone else nabbed Frost. <br><br>But I don't think it's correct to assume all involved had an unlimited labor pool to work with. Many of Callow's people would have been cleaning up the evidence, or guarding him. (He left before Maria showed.) Prometheus lost some operatives. Maria was there, and they needed a car to grab Frost, if that is indeed what happened. ;) Plus, from a story point of view, it confirms to Simon that she is real. He "sees" completely what his wife was really capable of for the first time.<br><br>

Empty, that is, except for a single…
So far, Maria has not shown any interest in Simon’s personal welfare. Why this sudden personal, rather apologetic message?

<br>All is not black or white. Emotional regret implies she might have loved Simon after all. It makes her more interesting for when she returns, someday. <br><br><br>I've been answering this for 3 hours. That's enough.<br><br>Nate

Nightwatch authors have remarkable freedom to invent their universes, but I can't just tell you "you're not supposed to know that." Mostly, the real secrets are held by Jeff and Robert. Authors are only on a need to know basis. <br><br>I have hopes that things I wrote will lead to other stories and plotlines by other authors, but that's not known for sure. <br><br>

Mmm, useful. I don't know if I'll buy that as excuse enough for such an unlikely policy. I just don't buy that sort of right-left political switching.

<br>My hope was that the consociation's love of ancient treasures would become important in some later story, when it would pay to have connections with museums and governments. Plus, no one ever established who was behind the other time machines financially, so someday their interest in "preservation" may boil down to knowing where all the goodies are, or were. <br><br>

Well, fear of flying is not rational, phobias aren't, per definition. Anyone who'd be afraid to fly in a standard 737 should be just as afraid to fly in Air Force One (or Nightbird One). And since Simon has never exhibited even a slight nervousness over flying in Nightbird One, I can't see him using the word "deathtrap" about an ordinary plane. I can totally see he'd be annoyed at the noise, the lack of legroom, etc., but afraid? No.

<br>Fear of flying is something you wrote into your interpretation. I never said he was afraid to fly. It's either 1) he was worried about the plane's safety or maintenance, not flying, or 2) it was just a tongue in cheek, sarcastic comment. Myself, I favor #2.<br><br>

Dammit! The real Frost? The fake Frost? What is supposed to be going on? Simon's invitation came from the real Frost, right? It would have to. For what purpose? To lure out the fake Frost? How did he know about the fake Frost before all this? How did the fake Frost know that the real Frost had invited Simon so he could take advantage of it? I ask again, what am I supposed to understand and what am I not?

<br>I'm not saying yet. :P<br><br>

Yes, but... Jane and Maria know each other! This is all rehearsed! What is the point of even having Jane present for this? Why did they feel it necessary to stage a cat fight? Why didn't she just leave? And Maria could just pretend she didn't hear anything in the shower.

<br>If Simon was relaxed, he'd take more of a good, hard look at Maria than would be good for the plot he's involved in, even with residual effects of the drugs in his system. Simon was forced to feel protective of her, and therefore less likely to notice she's 20 years younger. He's kept off balance until the fake Callow arrives. Then Simon doesn't do what was expected of him, spoiling the plan to bring Maria back & cripple Nightwatch, and they have to zap him into unconsciousness before he kills the fake Callow.<br><br>[edit] Something I forgot to mention is that although they know each other, Simon can't be aware of that for what follows.<br><br>Nate

“Mr. Frost has both the Presidential suites…”
Is it normal for a hotel in the US to have two presidential suites?

<br><br>I finally found this while looking for some contact names. The Accommodations & Amenities pages at their website lists 2 Presidential Suites, so I feel vindicated on this one. [Whew.]<br>http://www.thedrakehotel.com/hotel/inde ... r><br>Nate