Aphelion

I like the tone of this story.

Also, few men can bring a female character to life like another woman. I find, though, that the reverse is not true.

The character of Charlotte fascinates me. She's not a bad person, and not a good one either. She's a typically flawed, "normal" person. These are the easiest characters to relate to.

I didn't like that, in the end, she was kidnapped by the swarm. The implication being that they won't, and can't, survive without her. Apparently, she is a prisoner for life. What didn't change is that, whether in an open field or her basement, she continued to be enslaved by the bees.

Which, of course, turns the concept of the queen bee as the ruler of the hive on its head. But when unbending conformity locks behavioral roles so rigidly in place, both master and slave are victims of the collective whole that produces it.

I've noticed, too, how many stories over the past year or so emit undertones of the COVID pandemic. I wrote one myself. I wonder if there's something like a collective, social psyche that influences the thoughts and feelings of writers?

Anyway, I enjoyed it.

Thanks, Meg!

I liked it very much, for it held my interest from beginning to end, and the wording used made it easy to follow. Stories like this one are entertaining from the first word to the last.

Nice use of language.

Very creative theme, one in which I didn’t see coming at the end.

Good character development and a believable neighborhood, with and old man living there. Some would say that the setting was stereotyped, but when you talk about neighborhoods most are the same.

I can’t find nothing to nit-pick about. The show/tell was present, but in this story the telling had to be use because when describing the internal thoughts of a person, telling is the norm.

Also, I like the sensor inputs, just the right amount!

Great job!!