Homeward Bound by John E. DeLaughter
Posted: June 16, 2022, 10:44:11 AM
The first sentence piqued my interest which is essential when writing a story. The first paragraph should grab one’s interests, but I like it better if the first sentence entices the reader first. The remainder of the paragraph of this story explains the situation that Mary was in.
‘Golden path painted by the rising sun’ nice use of words to describe how the sun reflected off the ocean swells. I always like it when I encounter a new use of words, phrases, or even sentences.
I never read a story with a merman in it! This merman barters in songs instead of money in the undersea world.
A nice entertaining story with Nekke, the merman, and Mary, the boat owner, discussing mostly music and they sing to each other. Mary’s dad passed away, and Mary bought the boat which she feels is her dad in a spiritual way.
Good job!
‘Golden path painted by the rising sun’ nice use of words to describe how the sun reflected off the ocean swells. I always like it when I encounter a new use of words, phrases, or even sentences.
I never read a story with a merman in it! This merman barters in songs instead of money in the undersea world.
A nice entertaining story with Nekke, the merman, and Mary, the boat owner, discussing mostly music and they sing to each other. Mary’s dad passed away, and Mary bought the boat which she feels is her dad in a spiritual way.
Good job!