Aphelion

Thanks muchly. Of course, what with planes falling out of the sky so much in the past couple of weeks (Pakistan, Russia, an air show in the States), the joke about gremlins causing a crash might not be as funny as it was when it was written ...<br><br>This story was written late last year as my entry into the annual Sunday Star (Toronto Star, that is) short story contest. Since it didn't place ( :-[), it became available for Aphelion, its natural home ...<br><br>Robert M.

Interesting story. Demons, gremlins and a lawyer werewolf! You can't get much better than that, especially when you add manufacturing into the picture! And the doll? Well, I'm sure that Ralph Nadar would have had something to add! But really, most large law firms today could teach Bill a trick or two!

( Had to leave the computer for a minute because a bat just found its way into our bedroom!!! You should have heard my wife and daughter scream! A fitting interlude when writing a critique with Majius Magical Services in it!!!)

I like the mixture in the story, and, of course, the interplay between the characters. They become alive more and more as the story unfolds, and the detective work aids in giving them a sense of realism.

The events in the story were interesting in themselves and when coupled together, the ending---- trying to set up a manufacturing company for a lawsuit---added a very nice touch!

I like the story as is, and love how demons and werewolves become human-like!

Pretty good example of Moriyama, I'd say.

Dan E.

Now if only I was sure that 'Moriyama' was a good thing, I'd be pleased. :-?

Robert M.

Robert, there will come a time when you won't have to ask such a question.

Way to walk the line. He'll never know. ;)

Nate

...There did seem to an overabundance of dialogue over narration. Given that conversation plays to Rob’s strength, I don’t consider this a bad thing. Was this done on purpose?

This story falls outside the Big Arc, as it has little or nothing to do with the Morgenstern problem. (The next story in the series, already written, also fits this description.) It shows a little more of the day-to-day business of being a wizard for hire in Al's world -- like real-world private investigators, it's the small stuff that pays the bills. Accordingly, there is very little 'action' here, in terms of big flashy spells and mortal peril -- instead, it's more of a detective story where Al must figure out what is really going on -- Agatha Christie instead of Mickey Spillane. Hence the abundance (or overabundance) of dialogue, until Al detects the glamor disguising the changeling, followed by a swift denouement.

I dunno if I'd say I did this 'on purpose' -- it's just the way the story played out.

Robert M.