Aphelion

The very opening of this story declared it was a transcript. I knew it from the start. Nevertheless, as I read it, I really wished it wasn't just a series of conversations. I wanted more.

I wanted more description. I wanted more narration. I wanted more rising action and a powerful climax.

I mean, I liked "Libertas Scriptor" (even if I had a few complaints), and I must confess, I kinda like this one, too. Jason Runner interests me, as well does the world in which he lives.

In the end, however, nothing much happens. Everything Runner did is found out. He doesn't get away. Runner gets sedated, and the cops figure out someone else is leaking the truth, so they have a bigger problem in the future.

It's almost as if these nearly-2000 words were meant as the opening movement of something greater. If true, I'd rather read the real deal, and not the preliminaries. As an audience member, I would like to see more of Runner, but I'd like to see more things happen to him. I'd like to see him struggle with the world he's wrapped up in now. I'd like to see him get outside his apartment and have to deal with whatever is out there, and the repercussions that will entail. I like this character, and want to root for him.


Nate

The dialogue held my attention and it was easy to follow, without any abrupt shifts. I really don’t know what to say about this story.

American Homeland Security at it’s height? A world where everyone is confined to an apartment, and not allowed to mingle with other people? That would stop riots!

Reminded me of 1984 in many ways----little privacy and big brother watching over all.

The characters didn’t come alive to me, but in this type of story they don’t have to. And sensory perception isn’t needed either. The punishment of lowering the lights and serving cold food had little effect. The story lives in computers and other communication devices with humans only involved by their voices, yet the story-line held my attention until the end.

Using ‘Mister’ instead of ‘Mr.’ caught my attention and I wondered why but failed to find an answer.

The story had to been directed at ‘Homeland Security’ and the monster that it can become, unless I’m missing something else.

All in all, a good read!!!