I was half expecting a Boris Karloff type monster sent out by Ygor to terrorize the locals. It was nothing like that, but the title was appropriate.
<br>I hate the title, but I couldn't think of anything better. It used to be called "Creators," but I remembered a message I received from Cary on my first story where he expressed a distaste for one-word titles. He went on to say that often whether a story is read or not depends on a catchy title, so I tried to think of something that would grab.<br><br>
It took me a little while to get into the story. I thought the transition of scenes might have been a bit smoother. In one transition, Jake empties the gun into the rogan's chest. In the next scene, he awakens to the sound of the door opening. This led me to think that the previous scene had been a dream.
<br>I could see that. I was going for a flashback nightmare in that scene, but must not have been clear enough.<br><br>
Also, IMO, the introduction of the characters might have been a bit more thorough. I was confusing Neal and Roger for a while (but then, I'm easily confused).
<br>Since one is a clone of the other, confusion is understandable. Still, I should have worked harder at that.<br><br>
Anyways, once I got into the story, I enjoyed it and was held in nonstop until the end.
<br>Thanks. It's always nice to hear a good word.<br><br>This story is certainly not "bulletproof", and has been rejected by some of the very best in the business over the last dozen years. In fact, one editor told me that it "rushed, unstoppable, to the sea--like lemmings". I didn't think it was as bad as all that, so I kept throwing it out there.<br><br>Nate