Re: Inside Out by E.S Strout
Posted: December 30, 2007, 01:22:21 PM
Too much science which distracted from the story. And too much Star Trek.
The writing I thought was good, but the impact of mega-science terms used much too often didn't fit well with me, but then again the more I think about the story, the more I can see that at one time in my life I would have really enjoyed this one!!
When I was younger---in my teens and pre-teens---science terms, science fiction and distance travels to other stars were all I needed in a story. Yes, a hyper-drive space-ship----one that could beat the Soviets----reaching for the stars and overcoming break-downs and warped space and maybe an alien ship stocking them, would have had me up all night reading. This story reminded me of that time in my life.
In fact, later on when I got drafted and sent to Viet-Nam, I can remember talking with another guy one night who also liked Star Trek. We laughed when he said to me, "Man, I bet the NVA would shit if they ran into American Klingon Green Berets!!
I guess as we get older psychological based stories become more fulfilling to us, but I can still remember when a new Death Ray or Alien Space Ship or an invasion from Mars would have been all I needed in a story.
The author of this story draws from his interests and likes and is building on them using good writing. He is in the process of introducing all the needed elements of story telling, and I ‘m sure he will have them balanced out soon.
Use technical terms only when needed to further the story.
Not bad.
The writing I thought was good, but the impact of mega-science terms used much too often didn't fit well with me, but then again the more I think about the story, the more I can see that at one time in my life I would have really enjoyed this one!!
When I was younger---in my teens and pre-teens---science terms, science fiction and distance travels to other stars were all I needed in a story. Yes, a hyper-drive space-ship----one that could beat the Soviets----reaching for the stars and overcoming break-downs and warped space and maybe an alien ship stocking them, would have had me up all night reading. This story reminded me of that time in my life.
In fact, later on when I got drafted and sent to Viet-Nam, I can remember talking with another guy one night who also liked Star Trek. We laughed when he said to me, "Man, I bet the NVA would shit if they ran into American Klingon Green Berets!!
I guess as we get older psychological based stories become more fulfilling to us, but I can still remember when a new Death Ray or Alien Space Ship or an invasion from Mars would have been all I needed in a story.
The author of this story draws from his interests and likes and is building on them using good writing. He is in the process of introducing all the needed elements of story telling, and I ‘m sure he will have them balanced out soon.
Use technical terms only when needed to further the story.
Not bad.