How to Set the Hook

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kailhofer
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How to Set the Hook

Post by kailhofer »

This month, I wanted to write about enticing readers, or "setting the hook" as it's called.

Right off, I realized this was a much more difficult topic than I first thought. Perhaps unlike most writers, every story I ever wrote began with a scene or line that popped into my head, just as I saw it. If the notion is compelling, I keep writing. If not, I file the idea with the others, in hope of resurrecting it one day.

I knew that I wrote some good hooks before, but I never thought the process through. Alone in my quiet den while my wife and kids were at dance rehearsal, I paced the soft burgundy carpeting. I didn't know how to show the steps to hook readers. Dry-mouthed, I turned to the internet, but it was little help--practically everyone will sell you an explanation of how to do it, but few discuss it openly, for free. I was able to glean a few bits I'll share, however, from the words of writers such as K.D. Wentworth, Dave Freer, and Ben Bova, as well as from the forum discussions of slush editors at Baen.


The Hook & its Role
Obviously, the hook is intended to entice readers to finish your story. However, there's more to be done than that.

In the hook, a writer must identify to the reader a compelling character, at least part of the greater conflict that needs resolution, an indicator of the speculative (that is, how much this story is going to be different from the reality we know), and also establish the setting to the point where a reader feels this universe is real to them. Essentially, this is:
  • Who am I reading about?
    Why do I care about them?
    What kind of story am I going to read?
    What kind of place is this?
I think it's important to note at this point that the question "What's going on?" is not answered in the hook. That's what the rest of the story is for, so don't give away your ending. Also noteworthy is that complete answers to the above questions should not be given in the hook. If you take the time to give all that information, you'll kill the narrative flow and many readers will quit. That is, you may have a compelling need to explain the history or complex socio-political interactions in your universe, but if you do, I'm switching to the next story and not looking back. I'm not as patient as I used to be.


The Technique of the Hook:
Sadly, there is no step by step guide to crafting the perfect hook. If there was, we could all use it. However, there are some definite opinions about what a hook needs to contain.

One of the most interesting of these opinions reportedly belongs to Dave Freer, author of 14 books and counting. Apparently, he teaches that we have only 200 words to set the hook, and there are some special conditions we should meet as well (learned second or third hand, I'm afraid, so I'm not quoting):
  • Use no passive language in those 200 words.
    Include something that makes a reader empathize with the character.
    "Ground" the reader to this universe by sharing observations and sensory interactions of characters with the world around them, preferably by engaging all five senses.
    Show the tensions or mystery felt by the characters.
    Convince the reader that the characters will try to resolve the conflict or problem themselves, and not just observe.
How to do that? That's the rub, but at what point in the sequence of events you choose to start may make all the difference.


Start at the Interesting Part:
Consider the words of Ben Bova on the subject:
http://benbova.com/tips5.htm
(the other tips aren't bad, either)
I'll offer a similar variant: start your tale where things change for your character. If you retold Star Wars from just Luke Skywalker's perspective, it would start the day his uncle bought two troublesome droids, because that's when things changed for him. If the movie started with Luke repeatedly fixing the moisture condensers and nothing else happening for the next ten minutes, I might have walked out and asked for my money back. It's the difference from the norm that makes it interesting, and worthy of telling.


Putting it to the Test: How did my hook compare?
This essay had a hook, too. It is exactly 200 words long, and ends just before "The Hook & its Role". In it, hopefully, I met off all the conditions. Let's check me:
1) Who is the article about?
It's about me, struggling to write an essay, and how to set a hook
2) Why should readers care?
This is a difficult concept. It made me pace and struggle and research. I found people pay for this info.
3) What kind of piece is the reader going to see?
One that tells writers more about how to entice readers.
4) What kind of place is this?
This is from the real world, where writers struggle in dens, away from their families who are doing regular things, like preparing for dance recitals.
5) Use no passive language in those 200 words.
Check, as far as I can tell.
6) Include something that makes a reader empathize with the character.
Hopefully, that I was stuck, paced the floor, and then struggled to find info on the internet was enough.
7) "Ground" the reader to this universe by sharing observation and sensory interactions of characters with the world around them, preferably by engaging all five senses.
Uh-oh. Looks like I missed out on this one. I only used 4 senses, and then only if you count dry mouth as something you taste and not feel. The den was quiet, the carpet was burgundy, and soft, but I didn't find a way to include sense of smell. Oh, well. No one is perfect, but this isn't a story, either. It's an essay.
8) Show the tensions or mystery felt by the characters.
I volunteered to write something about craft each month, and it was harder than I expected. Hopefully, the frustration came through.
9) Convince the reader that the characters will try to resolve the conflict or problem themselves, not just observe.
Well, I promised to share what I learned, and I made good on that. That's nowhere near as big as the climax you'd expect in a story, but fitting here.

In the end, I guess the best proof of concept is: You kept reading, didn't you?

Nate
Last edited by kailhofer on February 22, 2010, 03:44:34 PM, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How to Set the Hook

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At the very end of your piece, you fall into what comes close to a logical trap.
"In the end, I guess the best proof of concept is: You kept reading, didn't you? "

Reply: "I'm reading this because I'm attending your class, not because I'm spellbound". You wrote an instructional article, therefore the good student will read it regardless of how it is written! The variation up for grabs is the expression upon said student's face during the process. You did a fine job, so I'm smiling. Some less competent entries elsewhere cause much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but they still get read. By grafting a personal anecdote onto your instructional article, you are coaxing the less-dedicated student to read farther.
Ah, but technically speaking, you're not in class. You may well be a student of all things in life--many of us are--but this is an essay you have to choose to read, not a lecture in a room that you've paid tuition for (and need as credit to graduate).
I'll speculate that a short story might be able to escape with a "half-hook", because it has to get rolling quicker. A novel, with its extended room to develop, may need a full bodied hook that takes a little longer to set up, but encourages the reader to follow through with a seven hour (or more!) reading experience, plus the cost of purchase.

--TaoPhoenix
I'm not sure what you do when you buy a book, but I do 3 things. I look at the cover, read the blurb, and then the first paragraph or two (which happens to be about 200 words worth, btw). Forwards, contents, etc. don't interest me. If those 200 or so words of chapter one don't appeal to me, I don't buy the book. I'd hazard to say I'm not the only one.

However, I disagree about the "half hook". I have the same attention span when it comes to choosing a story as a book. If I'm not into it straight off, there are other things to read, especially in these anniversary issues. As I said, I'm not as patient anymore.

There's a good example, I think, in this issue. "Too Cold a Trail" by Sohrab Koohpaima. I've read all his stories since he started posting here, and I think they've been getting steadily better. This one starts with an old dwarf mentioning all the life he's had and I'm thinking ok, fantasy genre. Second paragraph, ok, young scout... Then things drop off at the third paragraph, which I didn't finish reading. It stopped being about the old dwarf, and then some captain and some other guy saw some boy, who was telling about something that happened somewhere else... I quit. These things seemed to be just observations and hearsay about other peoples and the region, and wasn't about the dwarf, which was the person the first sentence tells me I should be interested in. It came off as ramblings to me, which may have been good character for the dwarf (I don't know, I didn't finish), but not so good for roping the reader.

Nate
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Re: How to Set the Hook

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I dare say this is nearly what I was referring to as a novel-grade premise! Unfortunately, because of the overall wordage cap, it seems to be so compressed that I understand why you got lost.
Wordage cap? What wordage cap? If you're long with a story, you send it to Jeff instead of Robert.
Twelve Characters in three paragraphs!

But now that you know who everyone is, would you consider reading the story?

--TaoPhoenix
Nope. It doesn't matter if it stars 3 Elvis impersonators, a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like and bulldog named President Eisenhower. The number of characters or who they are is irrelevant.

What matters is that the major character is engaging, that said character has a real problem that he/she/it is going to try to solve in a way that sounds like something I want to read about. The hook is the place where the writer is responsible for showing the audience that those things will be in there, and I don't see this story has that--so I'll pass.

Nate
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

I would encourage everybody to visit www.spectravaganza.com to look at the winners of Ralan's 'Grabber' contests (and one 'Clincher' contest). Winners were selected based only on the first 500 (or so) words for the 'Grabber' contests (and the last 500 words for the 'Clincher' contest), with the final selection of 5 per year chosen by some fairly impressive judges.

(The fact that I placed in the top 5 on two consecutive attempts (one 'Grabber' and the 'Clincher') has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with this recommendation... ::))

Ralan will presumably be running a contest again this year to raise funds to pay for the site (unlike Dan, who runs Aphelion on guts and fiberglass fumes) -- entry fee $20(?), prizes dependent on total number of entries, but usually $100 and up ($100 for each of two Honorable Mentions, more for the top three finishers).

Robert M.
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by kailhofer »

Interesting take, Nate.

I find this to be an especially noticeable problem with Tolkien inspired classical fantasy.

First, the quantity of characters tends to be significantly larger than normal, and the construction of names often sounds jarring.
I'm not sure you're getting my point.

The character and the storyline need to be engaging, not the names. I can follow just fine stopping the evil Thrakkorzog, ruler of Dimension 14B, so long as the Tick & his sidekick Arthur can stop him in an interesting manner (and they did, in The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold).

Nate
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by kailhofer »

The use of the first person helps you to avoid the need for proper names in the first few paragraphs. The reader is naturally program to identify with "I"--no matter whom I turns out to be.

The present tense can also be used to create a sense of urgency.
True enough.

However, it may also be important to note that first person greatly lessens one's market options. That is, unless you're already an established pro, when you finally find a paid market that will take it, don't expect to get more than a pittance for it. There are exceptions, of course, but darned few in the pro or even semi-pro categories.


Nate
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Use of the first person can be tricky, however -- it can lend a sense of immediacy and reader identification with the protagonist, but in storytelling terms, it limits the writer to a single point of view (unless you do the alternating-sections trick, with MULTIPLE first person narrators). This can lead to horrors like lengthy soliloquys where the protagonist feverishly reviews galactic history to place the events of the story in context...

Use of present tense is also tricky to pull off. Again, the writer can be trapped into soliloquy mode or flashbacks to do exposition, and (if the protagonist apparently dies at the end) can be stuck in the 'I died. I buried myself.' pit of despair. (This is a reference to Stephen Leacock's 'The Sinking of the Mariposa Belle', which ends with words to that effect.) To see how much trouble *I* had with these modes, take a look back at "The Acheron Inquiry". I ended up using a framing device (an inquest of sorts where personal real-time log tapes of a soldier are played back) to explain how the last survivor of a disaster could be narrating events in first person present tense.

(Then there's the whole issue of "how come this guy is doing a running commentary on his situation while he's -- running?")

Robert "I've seen a lot of bad writing, and I've done my share" M.
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

However, it may also be important to note that first person greatly lessens one's market options. That is, unless you're already an established pro, when you finally find a paid market that will take it, don't expect to get more than a pittance for it. There are exceptions, of course, but darned few in the pro or even semi-pro categories.

Nate
Interesting comment, Nate - any thoughts on why that may be?
viz. my comments above -- it's hard to do it well, so slush pile readers may ASSUME that it ain't worth reading and assessing the whole piece. Hence the odds of acceptance are better in venues that receive (relatively) fewer submissions and/or that have less at stake (little or no money, more time available per submission (on average)). Of course, this is true of ALL slush pile submissions, regardless of whether the story is written in 1st or 3rd person, past or present tense.

Robert M.
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by kailhofer »

However, it may also be important to note that first person greatly lessens one's market options. That is, unless you're already an established pro, when you finally find a paid market that will take it, don't expect to get more than a pittance for it. There are exceptions, of course, but darned few in the pro or even semi-pro categories.

Nate
Interesting comment, Nate - any thoughts on why that may be?
Personally, I think it's a fad, much like the current dislike for adverbs, gerunds, or other lengthy description.

I did a good bit of searching, and the most frequent opinion was that most novice writers do not do 1st person well, so editors do not encourage them to try. One would think that 1st person would come naturally to us all; it is not so. 1st person is an extremely difficult voice to do well. Most authors use "I" too much and stop the storyline too often to deal with internal conflict.

This is close to what Robert was saying in his post, so I agree with him. I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally. ;)

Nate
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Re: How to Set the Hook

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Oh, Nate, I'VE FOUND YOU! Now, if I could just get you to go back INTO your shell ...
;D
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