FLASH CHALLENGE: April '09

[kailhofer]

The "My Pet Monster" Challenge:


The challenges have gotten rather complicated and difficult lately, so for this one, let's relax a bit. Thanks to Tao for the inspiration.


Do you have a pet monster? What would your life be like if you did?

Is it a nice, little monster with blue polka dots that likes to knock down your LEGO cities and eat your Mom's Cheetos? Or is it a mean, serious denizen that you're afraid may get loose in the dark of night and feast upon the innards of your unsuspecting neighbors?

That's the trouble with pets. Even regular pets are sometimes fun, and sometimes they turn out mean, but these pets are already monsters. Who knows what you'll get.



I challenge you to write your best pet monster tale. See the story at the end of this post for an example.



REQUIREMENTS: (1) You must have a pet monster in your story; (2) 1,000 words or less; (3) The characters, setting, and story must be fictional and original; (4) Give your story a title and a byline; and (5) Keep it mostly clean. PG-13.

If, in my judgment, any requirement is missed, I won't post the story for voting.

HOW TO ENTER: Stories must be sent by PRIVATE MESSAGE, and NOT posted into a thread. Just click the 'PM' button at the bottom of this post and paste your story in the message. You are responsible for doing your own formatting, and leave an extra line between paragraphs, just like when you see them in the 'zine. I will allow different colors, but not changed fonts or sizes, artwork, or any other embedded or external links.

DO NOT send a regular email to me.

Stories will be posted "blind"--without the author's name on them. All the story titles are literally tossed into a hat and chosen at random. When the poll closes after the voting week, I'll post a list of the stories and who wrote them. All entries will then be reposted in the Flash Archive with the author's byline.

NOTE: ONLY REGISTERED MEMBERS who have posted at least one message may submit a story. Without that one post, the system will not let you send a PM.

DEADLINE: Stories should be in by 9 p.m. Central Standard Time (GMT-5), Thursday, April 23, 2009. The stories will then be posted for voting at 10 p.m. Voting will close automatically on April 29 at approximately 10 p.m., GMT-5.

VOTING: You must register to vote. One vote per user.

If more than two stories are tied at the end of voting, there will be a series of one-day runoff votes until a single winner is chosen or the number of winners is reduced to two.

WHAT YOU WIN: Pride, better short fiction skills, and bragging rights.


An example of what may be done follows.


Example story, not eligible for entry:



Norman

By:
N.J. Kailhofer



"Okay," Tommy said, "but you have to promise not to laugh. He doesn't like it when you laugh."

"Ooo. I'm soo scared." Billy made a face. "C'mon, let me see it."

Tommy took a long length of string with a loop in it from out of his pocket. Kneeling in the grass, he stuck the loop through the zippered opening of his backpack on the ground in front of him.

"Norman," he said, "put that around your neck."

Tommy waited. "Oh, c'mon, Norman. Just do it. You'll be ok."

Billy put his hands on his hips. The sarcasm in his young voice was biting. "You talk to him? What does he do, talk back?"

Tommy said, "Yeah, sometimes."

Billy laughed. "You're so full of crap. Do you even have anything in that bag at all?"

Tommy whispered into the opening, "C'mon. He doesn't believe you're in there. You're making me look bad. Come on out. I'll keep you safe."

Tommy held his hand over the opening, palm turned toward the ground. A tiny set of claws touched the top of the opening. A second later, Norman's upside-down green head appeared. He held himself there underneath the top of the bag, looking around. The loop of string was around his neck.

"Oh, neat," Billy said. "You got a lizard!"

Tommy paused. "Well, um... yeah, sort of."

"C'mon out, buddy." Billy held his face close, grinning from ear to ear. "Lizards are so cool. My cousin has a monitor lizard, and he let me feed him this big rat. He swallowed it right down! It was so gross, it was great!"

Slowly, Norman crawled out onto the underside of Tommy's hand.

Billy said, "Turn him over, so I can get a good look."

Tommy blurted, "No way! He'd fall away."

Billy scrunched up his face. "'Fall away?' What're you talking about?"

Tommy searched for the right words. "He's gravity-challenged. If I turned him over, he'd fall upwards into the sky and never stop. He'd die up in outer space, or something."

Billy laughed again. "You are so full of shit. Like that could happen."

Norman twitched.

"Stop it!" Tommy insisted. "He doesn't like it when you laugh at him, and he doesn't like swearing. You're making him mad."

"Fine." Billy crossed his arms. "Can I hold him?"

"No."

"Oh, come on. I'll keep him safe."

Tommy paused. "Do you promise?"

"Okay."

"Cross your heart?"

"I said yes."

"Cross your heart, and have to kiss Mrs. Murdow the lunch lady?"

Billy made a retching noise. "Ew! She's gross."

"Promise!"

"Fine, I promise."

Billy held out his hand and Tommy carefully pushed Norman out to the underside of Billy's. Billy looked at him close.

"He just looks like a salamander or gecko or something."

Tommy shrugged. "We'll he's not."

"He's just some shitty little green lizard."

"Stop swearing!"

"Maggoty, puke-green, runt. That's what he looks like."

"Stop it!"

"Fine! I'll stop insulting your precious little buddy." Billy smiled slyly and turned his hand over. "Oops!"

Norman flew up into the air.

Billy was wide-eyed.

Tommy grabbed at the string leash.


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Tommy's father frowned at the head of the dinner table. "So, what happened today?"

Tommy looked down. "I took Norman to school."

His mother gasped. "You didn't!"

Tommy said, "Sammy Goldman brought his pet tarantula to school and everybody kept going on and on about how cool it was. Norman is way cooler... so I brought him."

His father looked very stern. "And then what happened?"

"I had him out on the playground--"

His mother's voice was sharp. "Outside?"

Tommy's voice was small. "Yes. I was showing him to Billy and he made him fall up. He did it on purpose! Billy laughed at him and called him names!"

His father's voice was angry now. "Then what happened?"

Tommy swallowed. "It made Norman really mad. He blew."

His mother crossed herself.

His father shouted, "What happened to Billy?"

Tommy whispered, "Only his shoes were left. Everybody ran and hid in the school. The police thought it was an underground gas leak that exploded."

"Thomas de Bayeux, you go to your room this instant!"


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Tommy's knock on the linen closet door was gentle. "Norman, can I talk to you?"

There was no answer, so Tommy slowly opened the door. Norman was on the underside of one of the shelves, curled up inside an old blanket that was stapled to it.

"I'm sorry, Norman."

Norman didn't move.

"Norman? I said I was sorry."

Norman's raspy voice scolded, "I haven't breathed on someone since the year 1066. Once I was revered among your people, so honored they took their name from me. Now, I'm brought out for show and tell like a shiny bauble. A possession. As if!"

Norman stuck his head out of the blanket. "It is your responsibility to care for my needs, to protect me, and to be my companion, until you have a son or daughter of your own to pass me on to, and then to their offspring in turn, until time ends. This was the oath of Odo that I might help him and his half-brother, William, in their conquests."

Tommy looked at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

There was a long pause while Norman looked him over. "So, what have you learned?"

"What do you mean?"

"What has Billy's death taught you?"

Tommy's face was confused. "Not to take you to school?"

Norman rolled his eyes. "No! That your actions have consequences! Billy's death is your fault, and you will carry that knowledge your entire life. You must think before you act, or someone may die. You must protect your family's secret, with your life if you must."

"Oh," Tommy said quietly. "I understand."

Tommy closed the door.

And, Norman added to himself, that a dragon deserves respect.


Humans are such primitive pets.




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[kailhofer]

The first one's in.

Hopefully, someone out there will give it some competition.

[kailhofer]

Then there were three.

Looking good so far, gang. Keep it up!