Aphelion

I'm getting too old for this #$?*@...

You ever notice how some of the most worn-out sayings also double as the most worn-out lies . . . ?

The check's in the mail . . .

This won't hurt a bit . . .

Of course I'll respect you in the morning . . .

I'll have it done tomorrow . . .

It'll be as good as new . . .

-- and these all seem to share a theme -- "trust me.'

Somehow I got reminded of this:

http://www.lyricstime.com/too-much-joy- ... yrics.html

. . . and, the rest is history.

You know, I can't help thinking that we should be doing something better than just listing all the cliches we can think of -- and for that matter, it's probably already been done.

How 'bout this instead: break the old, stale sayings, and build new ones out of the pieces. These will be the sort of statements that might get picked up and worn out for their own catchiness. 'Future cliches,' if you will.

E.G.:

OLD: The winners write history.
OLD: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

NEW: You can't make history without fertilizing some eggs.

There, now it's your turn.

Inside me, there's a skinny woman fighting to get out....but I usually shut the bitch up with chocolate!

Hilarious!

Bad dog!