May 2018 Flash Contest - The Voting

[Lipinski]

For this reader, this latest batch of stories were all my favorite. I feel each author rose to the occasion. My vote is for all but since only one is allowed it is easy for me to place as I know a man who fit one of the stories very well and he is young at only 93.

Too bad the constraints of PG 13 is in place as it definitely stifle the creativity of a writer whereas a 13 year old has absolutely no constraints and follows free will to fullest.

[Lipinski]

Gonna try and give my perspective (ha!) of the stories.

First, already voted but felt this batch were all first rate.

So, in reverse order:
1. We Aim to Please. This was one of my favorites but did not vote for it because another story caught my attention. Not for the actual story but because I had too for reasons not allowed to speak of. But, as to this story... Wow. Now, wow is a word used more often lately by many authors. Because of it's use it causes my mind to make the story believable as I see many real people around me using that word. The story itself was of course, wonderful and enjoyable. If I were to critique (which when it comes to poetry, I never do, but stories...sometimes) My critique would be, while well written the author actually needed about another three thousand words to make the story brilliant. As it was written, it was to the point but needed more visual. Good job Jim.

2. And it was So. The premise of this contest was to be able to have the power to do whatever was wanted. What better figure than a god. In history, god's made the rain, ruled the Universe, blah, blah, de blah blah... so, this author used a god. What was tried was to mix in a lot of stuff some people could understand and most, can not. While reading this story it will be interesting to see if the readers can identify the god as male, female, creature, old, or young. Most readers eyes tell the mind a picture, so 'he' 'she' etc are overlooked, especially in short stories and when people glance over with a casual read. Now, as to quality of this story? Just another story few will understand, and if anyone is interested, the old woman in the story was naked but I did not use the word as it may offend some young readers. The reason she was naked is because in the story of Adam and Eve, when they ate of the fruit of knowledge, they realized they were naked and tried to hide. So... this story is just a story... as to critique? A bit confusing for most readers and it will bore them.

3. Endless Wishes. A well written story and a twist. It fit the premise nicely and it brought to mind the usage of words. The word, 'wow' again being used well. And while my mind is a bit, different than normal, I truly loved the use of the word, momma. Momma is a great word and few American authors use it as they usually use, mother/mom. As to the story itself, it had a heart-warming feel to it and I liked it. Critique: Again, my mind operates differently and so when reading new names it causes my mind to stop every time I read the name as it see's new stories in just a name. So, Japhet, Penelope, Jung, Jamal caused a distraction whereas, momma and grandfather were words that made the story work for me. Wonderful to see the talking to flower aspect. Nice story Jolene.

4. Long Road Back Home. I like stories that begin with a question. Wise use of italics. The use of italics at the beginning and the end was interesting and I will steal that idea and use it in future stories. As to the story, of course it was well written and entertaining. Wizards are a great source of fantasy entertainment. (which is probably why a lot of people read stories about wizards, witches, unicorns, and such. Nice twist to blame wizards instead of aliens, (but what if wizards came to earth as aliens? Critique: While I loved the idea of starting the story and ending the story with italics, I'm not a fan of overused italics. To me, italics should be like hot sauce or spices... just enough to flavor but not overwhelm. Also, names again. My mind stopped at, Ghirl. (Paul was okay but adding Ghirl made my mind think paul was a girl) Though, credit is given for not overusing names. Names in stories, especially short stories, drive me crazy. Nice read Sergio.

5. A Dreamer in Class. This story got my vote. While well written and entertaining as the rest of the batch, it was the mental vibe imbued. As a speed reader I have consumed thousands of books and WWII was a favorite subject when about twelve years old. Read every book in the library about that war (and many others) So, the imagery and the way the author used certain words, roped me in. Plus, I have a great friend who is 93 years old and served in the US Navy aboard a submarine. I talked with this man a couple of days ago and his voice brought to life the memories of the stories he told me about the war and submarine life. Critique. It is hard to capture completely the story in 1000 words or less. This story did well but not completely. This was written in a style that demanded more from the author but the author was constrained by the limit of words. Excellent and great story Megawatts.

So, great stories and fun to read.

[Megawatts]

All stories I found excellent. Yes, each grew within the constraint required, and I must say I enjoyed then all and I hope my interpretation helps. Really, I couldn’t decide on a true winner. I re-read them three time, and after each read, I picked another story as the best. If I can’t decide after three reads, then all are equal in my eyes. I had this happen once or twice before over the years, and can say that I am stumped about which one is the best! The one that did effect me the most was ‘Endless Wishes by Jolene Wilkerson’ because I’m a veteran of the Vietnam War. But I didn’t let that cloud my opinion and once I subtracted my feeling about veterans, I was back not about to decide which was the better.

Very, very excellent job on this one to all!!


The Long Road Back Home by Sergio Palumbo 7

I like the internal monologue and the feelings that Pau Ghirl had during his trials with the Wizards. The overwhelming power that the wizards apparently had were superior to anything that Paul could administer. The Wizards won, and we Paul finally accepted his fate.


Endless Wishes by Jolene Wilkerson 7

Very poignant story that reminds me of the veterans in a VA hospital. I like how Penelope represented all the good things in life----an innocent child can effectively do that in an honest and sincere manner. Good writing and the characters came alive to me. Liked it.


And it Was So by Robin B. Lipinski 7


A story will many elements of fantasy presented by the rabbits, squirrels and bears in a forest. This story is typical of many reveries because daydreams often make little sense, and events many times are just flashes of images. This is the first story that does depict daydreams unfolding like images flashing before our mind’s eye!

Very good job with this one!!

We Aim To Please by Jim Statton 7

Follows the premise of this challenge to the letter. Good job at describing a reverie and this imaginative actions based on good verses evil. I like that. A short piece of flash fiction can be more emphatic than a longer one, and this one has that attribute.

[Megawatts]

Thanks to all for voting me the best! That doesn't happen with me too often! For some strange reason this story flowed out without much thought! Maybe it's best to let one's 'Muse' dictate a story. I know that many great writers like Stephen Kings suggests that approach to story telling. I believe in the Freudian concept: Many things go on in one's mind that they are not conscience of! I really don't know but thanks to all once again!!

[Lester Curtis]

Excellent job, Megawatts! You earned the win with this exceptionally good story. I most liked how you tied the ends together with the trig problem, and the description of detail was very crisp and effective.

I know the feeling; once in a while something falls out of my head perfect and complete that way. I just wish it happened more often.

[Megawatts]

Thanks to all! I appreciate everyone at Aphelion!