FLASH CHALLENGE: March '10

[kailhofer]

I had this one ready anyway, so I figured I'd give everyone a few extra days.


The "Altered History" Challenge:



A few months ago Serials Editor McCamy Tayor asked for a historical figure challenge, but I was hung up on how to give it a speculative fiction angle, since that's what most of us write. But then it struck me, What if we told historical tales in an alternate timeline?

What if, somewhere, some when, some event altered history and the great individuals from our past lived a different existence? "Counterfactual History," where history happened in a different way than it did in real life, falls under the broad specfic umbrella, in my opinion, and should be fair game for us.

Maybe something small was different, like Abraham Lincoln was short and heavyset instead of tall and thin. Perhaps it was big news, like Queen Victoria abdicated the throne. Napoleon defeated Wellington at Waterloo? Shakespeare never left Stratford-upon-Avon? Nero never 'fiddled,' and Rome never burned? Japan never embraced the Code of Bushido? The possibilities are endless.

Obviously, one cannot tell a completely alternate history in only a thousand words. Don't try. Instead, I would suggest focusing on one event, one moment in time if you can, and telling your own story within the framework of the altered history you created. We will pick up the details from the clues you leave us, but please, please, do not try to tell the whole history. It's boring and you won't win, but please, please do try to make your story seem realistic. You don’t need to go overboard on historical accuracy, but try to throw just enough in there to make it "feel" real to people who aren't historical experts.


I challenge you to dust off those history books and create a tale in an alternate history universe. See the story at the end of this post for an example.



RULES



CHALLENGE REQUIREMENTS: (1) Your story must feature a famous historical figure from our real world, but there must be something obviously different about his or her life than the way it really happened; (2) The figure you choose must have died in real life prior to 1910; (3) Your story must also be set prior to 1910 on Earth; (4) No satire & no steampunk.—Also, don't try something like Romulus never killed Remus, so civilization was never held back and we now live on the moon just like it was the future but it's really 1909. Any story that tries to put us in outer space early will be rejected; (5) One entry per author; and (6) This is a Rated 'PG-13' challenge.

FORMATTING: 1,000 words or less, not counting title, byline, or "The End". Give your story a title and a byline. Leave an extra line between paragraphs, just like when you see them in the 'zine. I will allow different colors, but not changed fonts or sizes, artwork, or any other embedded or external links. You are responsible for doing your own formatting.

NEW! CHARACTERS & SETTING: No copyrighted characters or settings, or references thereto. No non-copyrighted fictional characters like Santa Claus, or religious figures such as the Devil, angels, or Thor, etc.

DISQUALIFICATIONS/REFUSALS: If, in my judgment, any requirement or rule is missed, I won't post the story for voting, but authors are free to resubmit with changes until the deadline. Should a story be initially accepted and posted in the challenge, but then later judged by me to be in violation, the story may be disqualified and removed from contention at any time prior to contest end. Authors who feel a story may be in violation should send me a PM and state their case.

HOW TO ENTER: Stories must be sent by PRIVATE MESSAGE, and NOT posted into a thread. Just click the 'PM' button at the bottom of this post and paste your story in the message.

DO NOT send a regular email to me.

CONTEST PROCEDURE: Stories will be posted "blind"--without the author's name on them. All the story titles are literally tossed into a hat and chosen at in random order. When the poll closes after the voting week, I'll post a list of the stories and who wrote them. The winner is chosen based on total points scored. All entries are reposted in the Flash Archive with the author's byline included after the challenge is concluded.

Entries from new authors are strongly encouraged. C'mon. Give it a try!

NOTE: ONLY REGISTERED MEMBERS who have posted at least one message may submit a story. Without that one post, the system may not let you send a PM.

DEADLINE: Stories should be in by 9 p.m. Central Standard Time (GMT-6), Thursday, March 25, 2010. The stories will then be posted for voting at 10 p.m. Voting will close on March 31st at approximately 10 p.m., GMT-6.

VOTING: Stories are rated on a scale of 0-10 in whole numbers in 6 different categories by filling in scores in a form that is posted by me immediately following the post containing the stories for this challenge. Voters copy and paste the form into a PM and send it to me for tallying. One vote per user (that is, per ip address), and authors may not vote for their own story.

Every effort will be made to keep the voting fair. In the past, some voters have abstained from voting for some of the stories while voting for the others. Since total points scored decides the winner, this put the stories that weren't voted on at a disadvantage. Should this happen again, the skipped stories will be given marks equaling whatever the story's average is at the time of contest close. IF YOU WISH TO SCORE A ZERO FOR A STORY, YOU MUST ENTER A ZERO IN THAT POSITION ON THE VOTING FORM. A challenge entrant who does not vote for the other stories will receive a 10% deduction in their own score at the time of contest close, and the other stories will be given marks equaling whatever their story's average is at the time of contest close.

If more than two stories are tied at the end of voting, there will be a succession of one-day runoff votes until a single winner is chosen or the number of winners is reduced to two.

WHAT YOU WIN: Writers get improved short fiction skills, increasing their chances in the marketplace, without the lengthy investment in time a longer story would take. That, as well as bragging rights and pride--there is stiff competition each month amongst some great stories.

LEGAL STUFF: Aphelion will not try to make a dime off you or your stories. Really. We want to see you succeed but nothing about that will line Aphelion's pockets. We love fiction and we love seeing authors get better to the point where people do pay them for their stories. That's why we're in this.

I'll try to do my best lawyer impersonation: By entering this or any challenge you are technically granting Aphelion: The Webzine of Science Fiction and Fantasy perpetual electronic rights only to post and archive your challenge entry. Aphelion would rather not lay any claim on them at all, but by posting them on a public site, they'd legally count as being published no matter what.

Ok. A real lawyer would have been less interesting. I tried.


Example story, not eligible for entry:



The General's Errand

By:
N.J. Kailhofer



The wagon clattered against the dirt road, jostling him and his uneager cargo. John pulled the pieces of his ill-fit, English clothes tighter around him to stave off the mid-November chill that sapped at his strength as much as his failure... a failure he would have to explain to the General himself. John searched his soul for some words to tell his commander that he had been worthy of his charge, and of the rank granted him in the army John forsook. John knew the General chose him on Major Lee's recommendation. The major said he had faith in John's ability.

John scoffed. My ability had nothing to do with it. All was decided by this damnable coat!

Ragged clouds of vapor blew before him in the moonlight, and his nose ran in the cold air. All around the smells of fires and the odors of poor soldiers long-confined to the encampment assaulted his senses. He knew these men, their hardships, and their loves. He knew their friendship, too, until he deserted them.

[align=center]***[/align]

Torches lit the night at the river's edge. "Here! The traitor is here!"

They found me again! Damn Middleton's men! They've spoiled it all!

John threw his coat and musket aside, and dove headlong into the water. Cold burned him from the length of his submerged body, and it was hard to keep afloat. The men in the longboat stroked hard against the swift current, and at the bow, a man held aloft a lantern, searching.

"Over here! For the love of the King, save me!"

Shot peppered the water around John as he reached the sailors. Strong hands pulled him into the boat as cannon from one of the galleys anchored there began to support them, firing at the Rebel force on the shore. A puggish fellow on the tiller growled at him. "Ye bring musket fire on us like rain. Why do ye bring us out into harm's way this night? Speak, damn ye!"

John swallowed his first answer. "I hear Sir Henry Clinton is in charge at New York. If your Captain will send me there, I shall prove to his lordship my desire to serve the King's army in the company of Loyalists such as myself."

[align=center]***[/align]

"Sir?" John called quietly. It took great effort to keep calm. This night had been over a month in the making.

The fellow stood upright in the dark of the garden. "Who's there?"

"Sergeant Champe, sir," he whispered. "On the road. Sorry, sir. Didn't want to wake everyone."

The Renegade's stride was cautious across the wet grass but quick to the fence. Quietly, he asked, "What is the meaning of this late-night intrusion?"

John saluted. "Begging your pardon, sir, but as I was patrolling down the road, I saw your fence here has been tampered with, no doubt for criminal purposes."

"What? Where?"

"Here, sir." John bent low and knocked a paling from its mount with a touch. "And these others, too." He pulled six more pickets and laid them carefully in the grass. "I presume this would allow access to your garden, sir. And here, if you'll look close, there's something else."

John knelt. The Judas's face leaned in, only to see John's pistol before him and to hear the hammer cock. His visage filled with confusion, then his eyes locked with John's. John whispered, "You have no sword on you, so don't say a word, or you'll meet your life's end on this spot. You're to come with me. At the shore at the end of the road is a boat to take us to the other side of the river. Come through the fence, and walk in front of me as an officer should. Make no calls or attempts to escape or it will be the last thing you'll ever do. I have both my pistol and my sword, and none in this army would be my equal with either. Move yourself!"

[align=center]***[/align]

Firelight flickered against the General's tent as John waited. When the General did come out, his countenance was dark as the night and John feared to look at it. The General's voice, however, was steady as a rock. "Sergeant Major, does he not live?"

John swallowed. "Your pardon, sir. He does not."

The General stepped to the wagon and lifted the blanket. He gazed coldly at the remains by torchlight, and said, "I made plain my intent that he be alive, did I not? Yet here he lies without his mortal essence."

John's heart was in his throat. "I failed you, sir. It was my weakness to the elements that was responsible. My cloak was cast aside to join the boats at Bergen and evade the pursuit of Lieutenant Middleton. After I had the traitor, I could not stand against the autumn cold without the overcoat the British gave me." His voice faltered. "When we came upon the encampment, the sentry did not call out, but instead fired upon the color of the coats. I took cover, but bound, the prisoner was dead at the first shot."

A long sigh escaped General Washington's lips, but then he turned to his aide. "Inform all commands that the renegade is no more. Then give the sentry who fired the fatal shot double rations for the week. His ball saved me from hanging a man I once called friend." The General turned back to John. "I thank you for your commitment to this nation. I shall make sure all know it was Sergeant Major John Champe that brought an end to the traitor." With that, Washington saluted John and returned to his quarters.

John stood in the dark beside the body for a long time, pondering. For this, I became a deserter and a spy. I stole upon him like a thief and he died in my charge.

Slowly, he took the horse's lead and began the march to the graveyard to bury Benedict Arnold... with John's own honor alongside.


[align=center]The End[/align]


_____
In the real Revolutionary War, Sergeant Major John Champe's kidnapping attempt failed because Benedict Arnold moved out of the cottage the very day Champe was to spring his plot. General Arnold successfully commanded some British forces against American positions, survived the war, and moved to Britain. Champe, his outfit dispatched to another location, had to serve under British command for several months before he could escape and report back to General Washington, who had himself planned the plot to capture Arnold. Most details from The pictorial field-book of the revolution; or, Illustrations, by pen and pencil, of the history, biography, scenery, relics, and traditions of the war for independence. Lossing, Benson John, 1813-1891, pages 206-210.

--Historical perspective provided for reference fun only. You are not required to do this.--

[Lester Curtis]

Rats, I can't use Mark Twain . . . I have to think about this; these are tough, and I'm lousy on history . . .

[kailhofer]

Nate,

Your sample story is reliving an event in one person's life that turns out differently than it did in reality. There may have been more differences in your alternate reality, but about all we see in your story is this one event that changes the main character's life. Is the point of the challenge to follow your example and center the story around an event that is "creating" an alternate reality, or can the event that changes everything happen further in the past and then our stories focus on the differences that have occured in reality because of that event?

That sounds clear as mud when I reread it. My point is, a lot of alternate reality stories look at the consequences of something in history being different, but they don't necessarily focus on the history changing event itself as your story does. What would be the long term consequences of Benedict Arnold being killed instead of surviving? It affects John Champe, but does it cause long term changes that would affect others down the road.

Here's an example: could I write a story that was about Lincoln but was set in an America that lost the Revolutionary War? Is that still following the intent of your challenge?

Hero

My example was probably a bit on the subtle side for Alternate history. It's more accurate to say we're writing "counterfactual history." That is, history that didn't really happen. That's a big umbrella. Could your story be written about Lincoln in an America that lost the Revolutionary War? Absolutely. Could your story be about a Manager of Ford's Theater who just happens to stop Lincoln from being assassinated? Sure, that works too. The point is to write a story that in every way possible seems historical, but isn't real at all. In my example, Arnold is famous, and he's dead by the end, so that's obviously different for him. But also, Washington never looked down at the dead face of his former friend, Benedict Arnold. Who knows how that would have affected him. Champe, too, is famous in small parts of America. Would this have saved him from his premature grave? Beats me.

Bigger picture and deeper implications are probably going to be too difficult to bring out in only Flash, so I'd steer away from that.

[kailhofer]

I have to think about this; these are tough, and I'm lousy on history . . .

If they weren't tough, I wouldn't call them challenges.

It's important sometimes to leave our comfort zones and try something new. These exercises provide a good place to do that without having to spend months trying and researching, and you get feeback through the vote.

On top of that, you may learn something important by doing it that you can use in other writing.

Nate

[kailhofer]

It sounds like Nate is taking a broader view of this for the challenge, but it is interesting to know there are some very specific definitions out there.

Hero

Yeah, I read that while was working on the challenge announcement. No one has heard of "counterfactual", so I couldn't call it that. Stuck up types would probably insist what we're looking at is neither alternate or counterfactual. I say it's both, but with a wider lens. Their definition seemed far too restrictive for me.

[kailhofer]

Why is it that there appears to be a preponderant predilection for dialog over narrative? Narrative has a place too. Sometimes stories get too talky, too much chatter.

I'd really like to know your thoughts on this.


Thanks,

RT

Did you mean in general, or in my example? In general, I think one needs a balance. There's a time for both.

In my example, it was to (hopefully) sound old fashioned in style and promote the era of the setting. What I remember from reading much older works is the amount of dialog and discourse over practically anything before getting to any action. In the book I cited (that's a clickable link, BTW), I flipped ahead and in the middle of of a discussion on a minor point of the Revolution, the author goes on a complete tangent about passing the church used as a setting in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, where Washington Irving used to live, and all manner of trivia about him before going on with the Revolutionary War like nothing had happened.

[kailhofer]

Yes, that's one in and one rejected, tragically.

[Robert_Moriyama]

I keep coming up with ideas, but tossing them aside when they start attempting to tie themselves into my steampunk story. I might be able to stop that if my mind weren't totally set on the novel.

As an aside, yesterday I read a short article comparing early sci-fi & railroad pulp fiction to Tom Swift Jr. novels, and that to steampunk. The statement was made that in that sort of pulp writing, the machinery was more important than the characters. The characters were place-holders that served as masks for the readers to put on in order to pretend that they were real railroadmen, spacemen, youthful inventors, etc. I think that the modern style of writing characters with actual development is more fun to read, but sometimes I'll still grab a Tom Swift off the shelf and race through it.

Dan

If you've ever read Gernsback's "Ralph 124C 41+", you will have seen the prototype for what the article is describing (and a fine example of the infodump describing the Scientific Marvels of the World of Tomorrow, as delivered by Aryan cardboard standups* (*those things they have in movie theaters advertising coming attractions, not bad nightclub comedians)...

RM

[Lester Curtis]

For my money, "Lost" got lost at the beginning of the second season, and I never went back.

[Lester Curtis]

it's a series too much based upon surprise, I mean continuous surprise to keep the viewers ever interested in it.

And that's what ruins it . . . sooner or later, things need to be resolved and questions answered. All this show did is ask more questions.

That's all right . . . "Flash Forward" and "Fringe" are starting up new seasons this week.

[kailhofer]

And I'm still looking for an alternative history idea. I must not be very good at this. I'll keep trying, though. It has to be easy to understand (1000 words), and not been done before. I keep coming up with Dan Brown ideas. Help!

Sweeping epics would be the wrong approach. Pick someone famous. Anyone. Change the world they lived in and then write how that person would live in it.

Tell a simple story. Don't try to tell the whole world you created, but instead set something simple inside of it. Just because you invented something like a world where William Wallace won independence for Scotland (the movie Braveheart, but with a happy ending), doesn't mean you can't tell the story of a street vendor trying to sell him something for the 47th time.

Or you could think of it like a game. Write a story where the world is different with your famous person featured prominently, and see if the audience can guess what's different (don't tell them, even though you left obvious clues).

You can try to do like I did, where you write the event that changed history. That may be harder, though.

[kailhofer]

Oh well. There are too many rules with this one for my taste.

Hm... All in all, there are less rules in this one than most.

I wrote something, but it's going to be shot down like a nerd in a bar full of blondes. So I already have it elsewhere, in another ezine.

Huh. Somewhere, I must have omitted the rule about the story not appearing anywhere else first. Regardless, you were right about how fast I'd have to bounce it.

So far, I've had to reject one story with Christ and another with the Devil. Honestly, you folks might need to think on a bit smaller scale.

[Robert_Moriyama]

...Hey, who wrote the story about Jesus Christ? I know who wrote the Devil bit because Satan is Great! and Hell is Awesome!

So the caption under your avatar image should be "Actual photo"? You're a cute little devil...

[Robert_Moriyama]

So far, I've had to reject one story with Christ and another with the Devil. Honestly, you folks might need to think on a bit smaller scale.

So who's going to complete the Trilogy Of The Banned by writing about God?

So this is one case where saying "I'm with the Banned" would not get you backstage access?

[kailhofer]

Five in so far. Very interesting subject matter.

Plenty of room for more!