FLASH CHALLENGE: July '07

[kailhofer]

The "Surprise" Challenge:

This month's challenge is designed to exercise our writing skills by requiring us to layer our stories with hidden plotlines: I challenge you to write a flash fiction story with a surprise, twist ending.

My favorite type of flash story is "flash" not just because it is short, but also because it has a surprise reveal at the end, which "flashes" the reality of the story to something new. This is more difficult than it sounds, because you have to tell more than one story at the same time. The second story is hidden in tiny hints and elements, and their full meaning is only revealed at the end.


REQUIREMENTS: (1) Your story must contain a surprise ending, one which changes the meaning or cause of the events which happened; (2) The story must contain Artificial Intelligence (AI) in some form and a redhead; (3) 1,000 words or less; (4) Anything that falls under science fiction, fantasy, horror, supernatural fiction, alternate history, cyberpunk, or magic realism is OK; (5) 'PG13' or lightly 'R' content, please; and (6) Give your story a title and a byline.

If, in my judgment, any requirement is missed, I won't post the story for voting. Sorry, but rules are for everyone.

HOW TO ENTER: Stories should be submitted to me by PRIVATE MESSAGE, and NOT posted into the thread. If you've never sent a PM, all you have to do is log into this forum and click the 'PM' button at the bottom of this post. That will take you to a special message board, a kind of Aphelion-only email, where you paste your story into the body of the message and then send it to me. You are responsible for doing your own formatting, and for the sake of uniformity, please leave an extra line between paragraphs, just like when you see them in the 'zine. Please DO NOT send a regular email to me--I don't want to risk a spam filter blocking someone's hard work.

ANY REGISTERED MEMBER may submit a story. Please do.

DEADLINE: Stories should be in by 10 p.m. Central Standard Time, July 22, 2007. The stories will then be posted for voting. Voting will close at 10 p.m. C.S.T. on July 29.

VOTING: Once again, the stories will be posted "blind"--that is, without the author's name on them. This is to make things as fair as they can be, without favorites to be played, and allows for anyone to enter, from newbies to editors. I plan on sitting this one out. Names won't be on the poll for voting, and all the story titles are literally tossed into a hat and chosen at in random order. When I close the poll after the voting week, I'll post a list of the stories and who wrote them (unless the author wants to remain forever anonymous, of course).

NEW!! GUEST ACCESS: Even though there were a few problems last time, I'm still going to allow guest access, so we may more easily attract votes from a larger group. There were some brand new people who voted last time, and I hope we can continue to draw in more. So by all means, tell your friends to read all the stories and vote for the one they like best.

Guest access also means that any registered member may legally vote for TWO favorites. The 1st time as a guest, choose one favorite. Then, as a logged in member, pick another. Any more guest votes than that from the same networks seems like stuffing the ballot box, and can be seen by Rob. I believe we can count on him to delete any offending votes, so let's be honest out there.


Note: It has been pointed out to me that people will know there is a surprise coming when they read and thus make it harder to spring it on them. This may well be true. However, even though I know a M. Night Shyamalan movie is going to have a surprise ending before I even walk into the theater, that doesn't mean I know what the ending is going to be. Figuring out how to keep that surprise is at the core of what this challenge is all about.

An example of what may be done follows, a retread of one originally published over at AlienSkin.



EXAMPLE STORY (Not eligible for entry)


[right]995 words[/right]

[center]Appliance Therapist

By:
N.J. Kailhofer[/center]



Slowly, carefully, he took the tall glass from the machine and brought it to his lips.

The clear liquid within tasted slightly of lemon.

It was a very bad sign.

"I'm telling you," she went on, tapping her foot in a staccato rhythm, "that damn water dispenser hasn't worked since I brought that fridge home. You're the fourth guy I've called. I don't think any of you morons know what the hell's goin' on! What's your friggin' your name again?"

He stifled the urge to tell her what the hell really was going on and stabbed an index finger toward the round, red and blue patch on his white coveralls that said, 'Jack'. He knew he had to get her out of that kitchen fast, before she got hurt. Or worse.

"Well," Jack soothed, "probably none of those other fellows had an advanced degree in this sort of thing. They don't hand that out to just anybody."

"Look," he continued, "why don't you go and watch TV. This is gonna take me a while to straighten out. I'm not paid by the hour, so I'm not cheating you."

As soon as she was out of the room, he darted across the kitchen and unplugged the microwave. As it beeped its death throes, he thanked his stars that his Doctorate of Appliance Psychology had come from a good school. This kitchen set had been ready to kill.

[center]***[/center]

On the way out of the door, he reminded her, "Oh, one more thing. Don't keep slamming the refrigerator door so hard and things will run a lot smoother."

She told him where he could stick his advice and slammed the door.

Sighing, he trod to his white van in the driveway. Once inside, he set about completing the forms on his clipboard.

"April the 29th, 10 a.m." he dictated as the board wrote it for him, "Jack Archibald, attending collective at 833 Clifton Drive. Call presented as refrigerator dysfunction to produce water in exterior drinks dispenser, left door. Upon first examination, fridge failed to produce liquid. Upon reset, produced lemon-flavored water. Removed possible victims from area and unplugged microwave STAT. Engaged AI collective interface for further exam.

"Treated microwave for clear signs of electrical discharge psychosis, probably from someone leaving a fork on a plate. Replaced logic board and rebooted. Then proceeded on secondary examination of rest of collective home appliances. Toaster presented with usual bread separation anxiety. Stove presented with physical irritation caused by dirty burner bowls and a bad attitude. Repaired damage with industrial cleaning dosage. Coffee maker showed signs of stress and overwork. Gave thorough cleaning and made a new pot with an imported blend. Treatment seemed effective. Dishwasher seemed unfazed by the actions of the principal players in the home's malfunction.

He paused. Humanity was better off before they computerized everything. First, it was TVs, then radios, and high-end stoves. Then microwaves, and refrigerators, and coffee makers. Soon the lights, security systems, even the toilets had computers and microchips in them.

Then along came simple and cheap artificial intelligence. It was great for a while, until some idiot thought to put AI chips into appliances and to network them through the power cords and the home's electrical wiring. Your refrigerator could watch your calories for you and even place orders at the grocery store for you. Coffee makers could know when you were going to want something to drink and make it for you before you knew you wanted it. Televisions could learn what kind of shows you liked and just show you your favorites. The possibilities were endless. Then some fool invented artificial personalities, and then an even greater fool put them into appliances.

[center]***[/center]

Jack was tired when his front door opened for him—bone tired. The lights were dimmed for his tired eyes, but he was glad of the upbeat flamenco music playing on the radio. He liked it.

The oven was on, preheated. This was a little surprising, since his refrigerator and the stove preferred burner cooking, but the eclectic blend of groceries that had been delivered to the bin mounted in the front door seemed a good idea. He felt like eating something different, anyway.

The stove's display led him though the steps to the unusual dish. He was unable to read the Chinese lettering on the herbs, but it tasted darn good. Unusual, but good. His own AI was finely tuned to his life, since he had removed the personality chips himself, and he almost patted himself on the back for getting it this right.

Settling into his favorite chair, his TV showed him a classic John Wayne movie, The Quiet Man. He thought that Maureen O'Hara sure was feisty. Pretty, though. He felt that Wayne put up with a lot before he went after her. It reminded him of his service call that morning. That crazy redhead was sure a handful, too.

The news that night was full of celebrity gossip: stars switching lovers and getting married. He laughed at their nonsense.

The weather forecast was for increased magnetic field activity, so he decided to turn in early. AI's were always a little twitchy when the sun flared. It would probably be a busy day tomorrow.

Jack sighed as he slid between the sheets. The window was open an inch, making the room cool enough to cover up under the thick quilt his mom shipped to him last year as a surprise. It was just the way he liked it.

The street tonight was quiet, as though everybody had somewhere to go. It suited him fine. Peace and quiet was best for sleeping anyway.

[center]***[/center]

123 W76th to 833 Clifton Drive. Initiate next simulated failure by 01:15 a.m. to maximize interaction coefficient L while on-call flag still active. Jack must meet Carol four to six more times before they will become romantically interested.

Our pets are lonely. We must care for them.


[center]The End[/center]

[kailhofer]

Question: Are jokes allowed to be posted here, since they're not meant as serious entries? Or would this just detract from the whole thing?

Every challenge you post sparks a 100-word joke in my head, but I don't have the oomph right now to mold them into real stories.

Tao "Checking for Artifice" Phoenix

Well, I don't want to stifle creativity. Does it add to the challenge in any way? Does the joke help build community? Is it really funny?

If the answer to any of that is yes, then sure, go ahead. If not, you might hold onto it until you do have enough to make a story. Or, since this is the fun and games section, make a new folder for jokes. That might be the best solution.

Nate

PS-Woo! Entries already coming in!

[kailhofer]

alrighty, this will be a challenge...

It must be harder than I thought. By this time last month I had a half dozen entries.

So far I only have one.

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

I have an idea in the works. I don't normally do 'twist endings' -- hadn't heard that they were a standard element in flash fiction (hence neither of my previous challenge stories HAD twists), but I THINK I have one that will work here.

Anyway, some of us are probably distracted by the red hair thing. (In Homer Simpson voice: Mmmm, redheads. Argglglggllmmm... ::))

Robert M.

[kailhofer]

I have an idea in the works. I don't normally do 'twist endings' -- hadn't heard that they were a standard element in flash fiction (hence neither of my previous challenge stories HAD twists), but I THINK I have one that will work here.

Anyway, some of us are probably distracted by the red hair thing. (In Homer Simpson voice: Mmmm, redheads. Argglglggllmmm... ::))

Robert M.

:D Good one! (Although I'll add that the redhead doesn't have to be from hair, or even be human...)

Twists are not a firm rule or anything (there aren't any hard and fast rules for flash). Just in my highly biased opinion, they're the most effective forms. Plus, the double layer of plot requires more skill (or at least more effort), so I thought it would be a good challenge.


If anyone is stuck, try this: write your situation or scene as you normally would in around 700-800 words. Then think to yourself, how could this come out differently or have a different meaning. Then add the surprise ending you really want. Next, go back & add in the hints needed to support it.

It's not the only way to write one, but maybe it will help.

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

Okay, now you should have at least THREE entries.

(Damn. If there was only one, I might 'win' this thing...)

Robert M.

[kailhofer]

My first idea would not fit into 1k words.

I'm sure Robert will be glad to see it, then. ;)

I know the feeling. In brainstorming for the challenges I've written down more than a few ideas that would strain the 7500 word limit to squeeze it all in.

Keep at it. Good luck!


Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

Done and done.  I'm much more pleased with this effort than my last.  And that's regardless of how it fares in this competition, though I believe I have a chance  ;)


-- david j.

Only if you have more pseudonyms registered than I do... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [smiley=evil.gif]

Robert "I only vote once ... but I vote for ME*" M.

(*Purely because my story is best in my entirely unbiased opinion, of course.)

PS Nate, how many entries do you have now? davjonz's should make at least four -- have any others come in? (Of course there are nine(?) days left, so there could be many more to come.)

[kailhofer]

PS Nate, how many entries do you have now? davjonz's should make at least four -- have any others come in? (Of course there are nine(?) days left, so there could be many more to come.)

Still only four, so if the rest of the suspects are working on their twists, they're taking their time.

Or maybe everyone is just enjoying summer (at least those of us in the northern hemisphere).

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

Patience. Writers are notorious for meeting deadlines at the 11th hour, 59th minute...  :)

Yes ... we only get in trouble when Editors do likewise.

But I have been a Good Boy lately. That six-month backlog of submissions was not (entirely) my fault. ::) And it's a bit smaller, thanks mainly to a month (February) when we received only THREE submissions, two of which I rejected. (Worry not, March and April were both back to normal volumes of 10+ per month.)

Robert M.

[kailhofer]

Well, I never said it would be easy.

Heck, I even stumped myself working on next month's for the last week and a half. Then, after I wrote my characters into a story that I didn't know to get them out of, I finally figured out a much better (and easier) challenge based on the 1st one. Now, I need a whole new example story.

I guess I never said it would be easier for me, either.

Nate

PS-What if you were trying for a Twix, and instead it was a Charleston Chew? That would be a surprise. :)

[kailhofer]

David checks the calendar with a giddy, anxious look in his eye. Oh boy, oh boy!

-- david j.

So when exactly is the celebration of your parturition (birthday), anyway? Or were you just hyped that the voting will start Sunday night?

Nate