FLASH CHALLENGE: September '07

[kailhofer]

The "Finish What You've Started" Challenge:

Every writer has a notebook, a file, a drawer, a closet, or some other place where he or she keeps story bits. These are bolts of inspiration that had to be written down because they were too good to lose. Later, however, many of those ideas don't seem like something big enough or good enough to make into a whole story--but we often forget to think that maybe that idea would be great for flash. This month, I challenge you to sort through those lost story ideas and find one that will make it as a flash piece. The vote will be for which story idea do voters think was best realized.

This means the vote won't be entirely about how good the story was (but that will be the biggest factor). It will also be about how well the story developed from the idea. For example, if the idea was "something about Uncle Bob's Worm Wrangling Competition" and you come up with something so touching it makes me cry, I'm voting for your story! That's a a lot more impressive than starting as I did in the example story.


REQUIREMENTS: (1) You must supply the finished piece and the original idea, just as it was written down (if the idea is more than one or two hundred words, choose another); (2) 1,000 words or less; (3) no specific items need be included--this is your idea; (4) Any genre is ok, but remember most of the voters will be speculative fiction fans; (5) Rated 'R' is ok; and (6) The characters and setting must be new, or not previously published in Aphelion. (7) Give your story a title and include a byline for when I post the list of authors.

If, in my judgment, any requirement is missed, I won't post the story for voting. Sorry, but rules are for everyone.

HOW TO ENTER: Stories should be submitted to me by PRIVATE MESSAGE, and NOT posted into the thread. If you've never sent a PM, all you have to do is log into this forum and click the 'PM' button at the bottom of this post. That will take you to a special message board, a kind of Aphelion-only email, where you paste your story into the body of the message and then send it to me. You are responsible for doing your own formatting, and for the sake of uniformity, please leave an extra line between paragraphs, just like when you see them in the 'zine. I'm allowing different colors for now, but I'm not going to allow changed fonts or sizes. I want all the stories to display the same on everyone's computer. Please DO NOT send a regular email to me--I don't want to risk a spam filter blocking someone's hard work.

NOTE: ONLY REGISTERED MEMBERS who have posted at least one message may submit a story. Without that one post, the system will (apparently) not let you send a PM. So if you wish to join the challenge, post a hello or introduction, or just put your two cents worth in on any of the discussions going on anywhere in the Forum. We'll be glad to meet you.

DEADLINE: Stories should be in by 10 p.m. Central Standard Time, September 23, 2007. The stories will then be posted for voting. Voting will close at 10 p.m. C.S.T. on Sept. 30.

VOTING: Stories will be posted "blind"--without the author's name on them. This is to make things as fair as they can be, without favorites to be played, and allows for anyone to enter, from newbies to editors. Names won't be on the poll for voting, and all the story titles are literally tossed into a hat and chosen in random order. When I close the poll after the voting week, I'll post a list of the stories and who wrote them.

GUEST ACCESS: Guest votes will be allowed again, so feel free to tell friends and neighbors about the contest and encourage them to read all the stories. We attract new readers each time.

If you feel a second story deserves a vote, you may legally vote again as a guest, but you'd need to do it from a separate network, say from a library of your workplace. Votes are tracked by IP address only, so a guest vote from your same network will change your previous vote to the newer one. Voting for yourself a second time is just tacky, so don't do it.

An example of what may be done follows.

EXAMPLE Not eligible for entry


STORY

[right]963 words[/right]

[center]The Eyes of the Killer Robot
By:
N.J. Kailhofer[/center]

The invisible voice called, “Klaatu barada nikto!”

The eyes did not move.

No part of the Killer Robot had moved in twenty-six years, two months, three days, one hour and thirteen minutes.

Databanks cataloged the words, time and date stamping them for future reference. Visual sensors swept the area, searching the park lawn without result. Secondary infrared imagers detailed the figure’s height and general appearance. Terahertz scanners saw through the man’s outer costume, highlighting the contents of his pockets, the structure of his bones, and the functioning of his internal organs. Processors gauged the operational frequency of his cloaking suit, calculated his mass, and pinpointed twenty-five target locations on his body. Long-term memory storage retrieved all known Enemy profiles for comparison. Logic subroutines predicted his actions and intent.

“That should have worked,” the man whispered.

Olfactory sensors detected three different types of alcohol on his breath.

“Robot!” the man insisted, coming closer. “Klaatu barada nikto!”

The eyes of the Killer Robot did not waiver.

“Damn,” the man muttered. “It worked on the robot in that vid I saw at the museum.”

***

“Harold the Horrible!” the Creator screamed at Mighty Man.

Mighty Man sighed, his hands on the light blue spandex covering his muscular frame. “Mr. Finklestein, you are not a supervillain. You are a harmless, crackpot inventor. Besides creating a public nuisance of yourself with this Killer Robot business, you’ve never broken any law.”

“I am a supervillain.” the Creator insisted. “You’ll see! My Robot is perfect--able to adapt and predict Enemy moves, equipped with micro-repair tools capable of extracting any atoms it needs to repair itself out of the air around it, and an advanced array of sensors and weapons the likes of which the Earth has never seen!”

The Creator threw the oversized switch on the wall. Electricity arced, coursing through the jumble of mad scientist's equipment lining the walls into what looked like a perfectly smooth, golden statue, over six feet tall.

The eyes of the Killer Robot illuminated briefly, cycling through their startup routine.

Mighty Man spun and braced himself for impact, waiting to see what would happen. "Mr. Finklestein, if that robot does anything hostile, you are going to jail."

The Creator smiled, "I'm Harold The Horrible, and the whole world will soon know my name. I'm tired of you superheroes and villains and your smug superiority, telling me I'm not one of you. We'll show them all. Robot, destroy every superhero that gets within a mile of this house."

White-hot disintegrator beams lashed out from the eyes of the Killer Robot. An instant later, the ashes of Mighty Man began to rain onto the floor.

The Creator cackled. "Yes!"

The window smashed in and three figures dressed in the black uniforms of the Exceptional League burst into the suburban garage of Harold Finklestein. Their ashes filled the air before the last one's foot touched the cement floor.

Outside, the roar of the League's jet transport shook the ground, covering the approach of two high-explosive missiles. The Creator saw them through the garage window.

"Robot," he said, "Number Two on those missiles and the jet."

The eyes of the Killer Robot glowed again. Around the incoming rockets and the aircraft, space folded in on itself and everything within the effect abruptly ceased to exist.

The Creator laughed maniacally. "Now, destroy every superhero and supervillan on this planet--other than me."

The Killer Robot launched into the air, through the roof of the garage.

***

Eight hours later, it landed in the same spot.

"Excellent!" The Creator shouted, watching simultaneously the six televisions set up on the shelves along the wall of his garage laboratory. "They've been evacuating the city almost since you left. By tomorrow, we'll have the entire place to ourselves! We'll live like kings, in a penthouse downtown."

"Wait," he said, staring at the graphics on the screens. "There's something not right. It looks like they're going to--"

***

The invisible man read the plaque next to him.

On this spot, more than ten centuries ago, the nations of the world detonated a nuclear device in an attempt to destroy the Killer Robot. While its unknown creator was terminated, the Robot was unharmed. Unfortunately, they did not realize that they were in no danger. The Robot only hunts persons with the A3339 gene mutation, commonly known as superheroes. Normal humans face no threat from it.

The last known appearance of the superhero gene was over three hundred years ago. The Robot has waited in this spot, never decaying in any way, since that fateful day.

This park is dedicated to the memory of those fallen heroes.

The invisible man gave a drunken snort. "Oh, yeah, Robot? You've been waiting for me. They call me The Magician because I can make things happen like magic. I am a superhero--"

The Killer Robot sampled the genetic material in the ash that fell to its feet. The A3339 factor was only 37%. It increased the strength of its mutagenic ray aimed at the nearest population center by .09%. Computational analysis indicated any higher would produce levels of birth defects and premature deaths high enough to cause the population to move out of range. Subroutines predicted no appearances of the gene for 137.657 years.

As the Robot prepared to wait the 4,344,124,543,000 milliseconds until it could be useful again, a micro seal failure warning reported in the Robot's right ocular display unit. Nanoserver motors lost containment of .0517 units of material. The glistening bead of lubrication escaped the outer seal and ran down its seamless gold cheek before tumbling to the ground where the last few atoms of its Creator remained.

The eyes of the Killer Robot cried.

It was a very long time to wait.


[center]The End[/center]

IDEA
The invisible voice called, “Klaatu barada nikto!”
The Killer Robot did not move.
It had not moved in thirty-seven years, two months, three days, one hour and thirteen minutes.
Databanks cataloged the words, time and date stamping them for future reference. Visual sensors swept the area, searching the dark park lawn without result. Secondary infrared imagers detailed the figure’s height and general appearance. Terahertz scanners saw through the man’s outer costume, highlighting the contents of his pockets, the structure of his bones, and the functioning of his internal organs. Processors gauged the operational frequency of his cloaking suit, estimated his mass, and pinpointed twenty-five target locations on his body. Long-term memory storage retrieved all known Enemy profiles for comparison. Logic subroutines predicted his actions and intent.
“That should have worked,” the man whispered.
Olfactory sensors detected three different types of alcohol on his breath.
“Robot!” the man insisted, coming closer. “Klaatu barada nikto!”
The eyes of the Killer Robot did not waiver.
“Damn,” the man muttered. “It worked on that old movie.”

[Robert_Moriyama]

What? We can't use characters that have appeared in Aphelion stories? So I can't do a flash finale to the Majius series, the long-hidden true story of what happened when Prufrock sat on a leprechaun, or what happened to the Scientologist who tried to give an IQ test to Helen Mackay? (Hmm ... two out of the three would involve the services of a proctologist to deal with a pain in the ... :-[ -- damn that Shatner All-Bran diet!)

[kailhofer]

What? We can't use characters that have appeared in Aphelion stories? So I can't do a flash finale to the Majius series, the long-hidden true story of what happened when Prufrock sat on a leprechaun, or what happened to the Scientologist who tried to give an IQ test to Helen Mackay? (Hmm ... two out of the three would involve the services of a proctologist to deal with a pain in the ... :-[ -- damn that Shatner All-Bran diet!)

It occurred to me that if someone like Al or Githros appeared (or Trauma, or any other easily-recognizable character), it would really give away the author and skew the vote. Not that you would, but I thought I should be safe and limit that.

While I am thinking about it, I wonder, wouldn't it be fun sometime to do a Mare or whatever that new shared universe is supposed to be as a challenge? Even though I'd love it, I suppose Nightwatch would be out of the question, unless it was a really limited scope... and assuming Jeff didn't hate the idea.

And even though you'd know (probably) who the author was, a sequels only challenge could be a lot of fun too. Just thinking out loud...

Nate

[kailhofer]

I would like to suggest that the format should be the Story first, and then the idea from which it sprang. Most of the entries in my N2S (Notes To Self) folder include possible endings, usually in a bullet list.

I'm going to be hard pressed not to give away the ending before the reader even starts the thing.

Just a thought.

Bill Wolfe

I don't have a problem with the story first. As they said in the Charlton Heston version of The Ten Commandments, So let it be written! :D (I've always wanted an excuse to use that quote.)

I suspect how the ideas are written may show more about the differing creative processes than the stories themselves.

Nate

[kailhofer]

Nate,

You're a little late with this month's challenge, but I have you to thank, anyway. I wrote one of my story ideas into a flash that didn't fit your July Flash Contest. . .so I farmed it out. After one rejection, I sent it to a new online pay market for (amongst other things) Flash.

This is what happened TODAY to the best story idea I had. I will now have to re-think my September entry.

If anyone is interested in reading it, I'll let you know when it's online.

My first sale.

Goody Goody Gumdrops. (Perhaps my original language was a tad stronger ;D )

Good for you!

For the July Challenge... Did it have the red head and AI, too? Regardless, good work.

Well done!

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

What if you don't HAVE a notebook lying around with old, unused story ideas? :-/

[kailhofer]

What if you don't HAVE a notebook lying around with old, unused story ideas? :-/

Well, it did say a file as well, which means it doesn't have to be on paper. "Writing" in modern usage generally includes typing it in to a computer. Don't you have something gathering digital dust somewhere?

I'm not intending to be super picky. It just has to be an old idea which was never manifested as a story.

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

gotta say this is a bit confusing for me. how do we know any of it will actually be from old ideas? since there are no other rules, anything submitted can be brand new and we'll never know.

What? You think any of us would cheat? I'm -- I'm shocked (but not awed). In my case, the only usable idea I could recall that didn't end up as a story was scribbled in one of those pocket-sized spiral notepads that I lost years ago. So the story is based on an old idea, but I couldn't reproduce the original note. (Nate hasn't said -- yet -- that the lack of an original note disqualifies the story. :-/) Now, if I had submitted a story based on a note about the hexagonal cloud(?) formation on Saturn, would that be "old" enough? Or if the "note" was a clipping from a newspaper or magazine, would that count?

RM

[kailhofer]

gotta say this is a bit confusing for me. how do we know any of it will actually be from old ideas? since there are no other rules, anything submitted can be brand new and we'll never know.

That's true. You could cheat and we'd never know.

But doing so would rob yourself of an important part of the challenge. There's a wonderful sense of accomplishment in taking an old idea and turning it into a story. It feels good to finish any story, but these ideas are special.

These ideas didn't get written. That means they were something you wanted to finish but were prevented from, because you didn't have time or another more compelling idea came along. Or maybe you felt this was a story that should be written but just couldn't make it work.

These are stories that you failed at, really, when you look at it.

Beating a failure, completing a goal, and at the same time knowing you're a better writer because of it is a special feeling, one worth having. Also, it's hard work, and that adds to the sense of achievement. If nothing else, rewriting is a vital skill in an author, and rewriting this idea into something worth submitting is good practice.

So yes, people could cheat, but even if they win, they'll really be losers.

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

Coming up on 5 full days (as of 10:17 PM Eastern time tonight) since the Challenge opened -- how many entries so far? Or is everybody still frantically looking for that tattered notebook they used to write down story ideas when they were younger, so much younger than to-da-a-ay?

[kailhofer]

What? You think any of us would cheat? I'm -- I'm shocked (but not awed). In my case, the only usable idea I could recall that didn't end up as a story was scribbled in one of those pocket-sized spiral notepads that I lost years ago. So the story is based on an old idea, but I couldn't reproduce the original note. (Nate hasn't said -- yet -- that the lack of an original note disqualifies the story. :-/) Now, if I had submitted a story based on a note about the hexagonal cloud(?) formation on Saturn, would that be "old" enough? Or if the "note" was a clipping from a newspaper or magazine, would that count?

RM

Just a news article by itself is not a story idea. That's just information, lacking intent to turn that knowledge into something. Now, if that "idea" was 'write a story using X' or 'write a story about X', those are story ideas.

I think your idea counts, although I think you may have just given away who wrote it again. It showed intent to turn the notion into something, and intent seem to be the crux of the definition.

Nate

[kailhofer]

Coming up on 5 full days (as of 10:17 PM Eastern time tonight) since the Challenge opened -- how many entries so far? Or is everybody still frantically looking for that tattered notebook they used to write down story ideas when they were younger, so much younger than to-da-a-ay?

Just yours to date, so you're getting good odds so far. ;)

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

Coming up on 5 full days (as of 10:17 PM Eastern time tonight) since the Challenge opened -- how many entries so far? Or is everybody still frantically looking for that tattered notebook they used to write down story ideas when they were younger, so much younger than to-da-a-ay?

Just yours to date, so you're getting good odds so far. ;)

Nate

Bwahahahahaaaa! My hack to prevent private messages from reaching you is working*! Of course, I will delete this post to remove this little gloating confession from the public eye ... any minute now.

RM [smiley=evil.gif]

(*This explains how the topic could have been viewed 158 times, indicating that a lot of people are INTERESTED in entering, but only one entry has reached you.)

[kailhofer]

One more author has decided to give the challenge a first try. To quote 'Hannibal' Smith from the A-Team, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Plus, it cuts Robert's odds in half. ;)

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

One more author has decided to give the challenge a first try. To quote 'Hannibal' Smith from the A-Team, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Plus, it cuts Robert's odds in half. ;)

Nate

Which is the important thing, because this IS all about ME.

[kailhofer]

Still only 2 entries so far.

The field is wide open...

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

I found an old notebook from the 1980s. Only a single page but some of the stuff is wild. I actually anticipated two Hollywood movies. "Jason Takes Manhattan" (I meant this as a joke title) and Jason Meets Freddie, I called mine "Nowhere to Hide" again it was supposed to be a joke. Thank God they never did "Rocky 5-Rambo 4: The Ultimate Sequel".

Sadly, Jason, Freddie, Rocky, and Rambo are all copyrighted and trademarked up da wazoo, so you couldn't use them in the Challenge or in Aphelion main. Now Perseus, Jeffie, Stony, and Goatyo -- them guys youse could use. I presume that there were some notes on that single page that you haven't revealed -- you ARE entering the challenge, aren't you?

[Robert_Moriyama]

I found an old notebook from the 1980s. Only a single page but some of the stuff is wild. I actually anticipated two Hollywood movies. "Jason Takes Manhattan" (I meant this as a joke title) and Jason Meets Freddie, I called mine "Nowhere to Hide" again it was supposed to be a joke. Thank God they never did "Rocky 5-Rambo 4: The Ultimate Sequel".

Sadly, Jason, Freddie, Rocky, and Rambo are all copyrighted and trademarked up da wazoo, so you couldn't use them in the Challenge or in Aphelion main. Now Perseus, Jeffie, Stony, and Goatyo -- them guys youse could use. I presume that there were some notes on that single page that you haven't revealed -- you ARE entering the challenge, aren't you?

You could write it if it were a parody.

... You mean they weren't already parodies? (I might exclude Rocky, maybe Rocky II, and Rocky Balboa, but Rambo was always a cartoon, and all but a few of the Jason and Freddie movies were mostly spoofs on their original concepts.)

RM

[kailhofer]

I myself have an entire novel ms from the 80s, which when I read now was entirely too much influenced by Hitchhikers and Aspirin's Myth series.

That, and having no idea what I was doing... But I'd get sued for sure.


4 entries now! Can't wait to read the new ones later tonight.

Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

I myself have an entire novel ms from the 80s, which when I read now was entirely too much influenced by Hitchhikers and Aspirin's Myth series.

That, and having no idea what I was doing... But I'd get sued for sure.


4 entries now! Can't wait to read the new ones later tonight.

Nate

Waaaay back in 1972, when the Worldcon was in Toronto, I think I met Robert Asprin. He was a sort of chubby guy with curly brown hair and glasses, if I recall correctly, and he mentioned that he had an idea for something called "Thieves' World"... So starting in about the same place (fans with no publishing credits), he winds up the creator of two or three long-running series (Thieves' World, Phule, and Myth), and I wind up ... here ... :'(

(Not that 'here' is all bad -- we have been getting submissions from authors who have had books published by large-press houses. But I suspect that Mr. Asprin makes a lot more money from his creative / literary pursuits than I do.)

Arrr! Pirate his characters, sez I! He can afford to let us scurvy dogs make off with a few scraps from his overflowin' table!

RM

[Robert_Moriyama]

Well, Bill, you could write 2K words and I could Ruthlessly Edit it for you. I wouldn't sabotage your story by editing out all the good parts, even though it would improve my chances. Honest. Trust me. Say, you look like you could use a bridge of your very own. It just so happens that I have some prime bridges in the New York City area...

8-)

[kailhofer]

So far, it's a lovely batch of entries. Really good stuff!

Any last-minute lurkers out there? You have until 10 pm central standard time (where I am) tonight, which is 11 hours from now.

Anybody? ...Buehler? Buehler?

Nate

PS. Bill.... BWAA-HA-HA! I never said it would be easy! [smiley=evil.gif]

Also, I absolutely think it is much easier to take some items and turn them into a story than to do it all yourself. Those ideas and items are like points on a line. When you put them into order, you suddenly have a direction to go. Besides, if those ideas stay too big, I'm sure Robert will be happy to get them, and that's a goal of these challenges, too.