Aphelion

The intro worked to this very descriptive story set in the holy lands during the dark ages.

Good grammar, word choices and dialogue.

At times I felt too much description clouded the story and made it harder to read. Just a personal note and one that might not be shared by others. I prefer too much rather than not enough, and the trick is to find a good balanced.

I’ve noticed that with sword and sorcery, vampires, demons...description is always greater with an acute emphasis on weaponry, clothes, beards, and their surroundings than in other stories. I wonder if that is now part of that genre. Ann Rice novels come close to the historical novels with her detailed descriptions of Italy, Europe and New Orleans, Architecture, religion and social status. She uses many descriptive adjectives in telling about the setting, and that helps other writers in their language use. Some of her writings reminds me of Hervey Allen‘s works, a famous writer from Pittsburgh.

More stories based on Christianity and Jesus are appearing since The DeVince Code, and I think that that is good. Some might not agree but I’ve always believed in freedom of thought first.

The bible has rich fields in which novels and short stories can draw material from. Just think for a moment. See what mean. Floods, wars, loves, hates, conspiracies...even space aliens! The Pope and his cronies, the Muslims, the splits in Christianity and the churches dominance in Europe during the middle ages---- yes we do have a very rich book filled with ideas and unique places and peoples!


Nice entertaining story.

The "plain cup" being the Grail was also a plot point in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"... However, assuming that the actual Grail was set aside and preserved (already problematic -- did they know that the Last Supper WAS the Last Supper?), it is not unlikely that at some point, someone might have felt compelled to embellish it (adding a base and gilding the whole thing). Consider illuminated manuscripts, with elaborate colored and even literally gilded letters taking up space on a precious resource -- parchment being so valuable that it was often reused after previous writing had been washed or scoured away...

RM

bottomdweller wrote:Nope.
"The Roman nodded, and the man sprinted to a hill lined with three crosses with dead men nailed to them. A woman watched as he pulled a slender frame from the center cross and carried the body to a tomb. She perched a small wineglass, golden, and studded with gems atop the raised grave."
The author is inferring the cup is made of gold and encrusted with jewels the day after the cruxifiction. It wasn't a 'raised grave' either, it was a tomb - a walk-in (and walk-out I suppose) tomb.

You mean the author is implying ... and I would assume that the author means "raised grave" to be equivalent to "tomb" (although the ones down in N'awlns wouldn't all qualify). And how long was it from the Last Supper to the Crucifixion? Or more precisely, from the arrest of Jesus (when it might have been guessed that the Last Supper WAS the last supper) to the day after the crucifixion? Dunno if any of the disciples or other followers would have had the resources (a) to have used a "fancy" glass at the Last Supper, or (b) to have an ordinary cup fancied-up that quickly.

RM

Name that tomb! I like that. And the winner could be crowned!