Posted: July 15, 2009, 09:57:48 PM
For the most part, I have to agree with unforgibbon on this one. I usually don't read another's critique before I write mine, but decided to read one to see if another's would sway my opinons. It didn't
The begining should grab one's attention, and this one didn't. Too much overwriting and too much introduction early in the story made it somewhat confusing at first. However, the story did settle down to a nice
clear interesting tell.
Try to suck the reader in and don't cram too much into the begining. Keep him interested.
In general the writing I found good, plot very good, character developement nice and word choices good.
Nothing seriously wrong with this story
The begining should grab one's attention, and this one didn't. Too much overwriting and too much introduction early in the story made it somewhat confusing at first. However, the story did settle down to a nice
clear interesting tell.
Try to suck the reader in and don't cram too much into the begining. Keep him interested.
In general the writing I found good, plot very good, character developement nice and word choices good.
Nothing seriously wrong with this story