Aphelion

I’m as Viet-Nam Vet and can testify that we could not take our M-16’s home. However, during
the early ‘60s, returning vets did take captured AK-47s home with them. I think that ended in ‘65.

When in Nam I wanted out as soon as possible. But I did run into soldiers and marines who reenlisted for another tour of duty in Nam. So a guy spending four tours in Nam just might be true. Viet-Nam, depending on where your were station, could be a hell on earth, or, and I say this
from experience, a near paradise. When I went on R&R I met airmen and soldiers stationed in Saigon that had almost paradise type duty. They worked 8 hours a day, then had the evening off, going into Saigon and enjoying the night life. Us guy in the 101st Airborne didn’t have it so good. Our night life up north was bunker guard.

The story is an entertaining one with the right amount of show and tell. A little more showing would have helped , but for the most part a workable balance did exit.

I don’t know if Lucas just experienced his hell in his own mind, or if the guy with green teeth
really exited. Something was happening with Lucas---or maybe it was all in his head.

In all honesty, I didn’t understand the events taking place. If the story was just event driven for entertainment purposes, then it worked very well. If the Elm tree symbolized purpose or sanity that Lucas craved for, the story gets involved and the guy with green teeth must be the enemy.
I really don’t know how to interpret this story since so many avenues are open.

It reminded me of the move Jacob’s Ladder

The story was entertaining and that’s what a short work like this one is suppose to do!!

Really liked it!!

I would have cut back on the phrase "some folks would call...but others knew better." Twice would have been enough, three times would have pushed it, but over and over again was just plain irritating. Maybe I'm wrong about that - other people may have a different point of view on that.

I also found that annoying. I've seen little phrases used like this, and they can be very powerful in tying a story together -- even in a novel-length story -- but, once near the beginning and once at the end is all it takes. Likewise with this one:

Lucas Black was a man who believed in getting things done, hard work, and dedication

and I think there's yet another. Those repetitions take on a sing-song quality after a while -- not good.

Other than that -- and the exaggerated speech mannerisms -- it was wonderful; characterization was outstanding, and the creepy mood was inescapable.

Overall, quite good; it did the job very well.