Reminded me of an old Ron Steiger movie. Good description that led me to visualize the setting, the character actions, and the ‘the pock-marked plain separating the city of Ware from its detested twin, Un’. However, I didn’t understand how the events interrelated. Was this story just event driven. It seems so. But it was an interesting read.
I like the description and word choice, but some I felt were a little too academic. Remember,we want the reader to become engrossed in the story, and not have to think about word meaning too much. A noun like 'trew' stops some readers: A more common name would have been just as good. Maybe one or two other words should be replaced, but I don't think this story fell into the "academic word trap," as I call it, when every other word must be looked up. Today's reader wants action and engrossment without interruptions, and too many unknown words can cause too many interruption. Of course, there are always exceptions! I like Anne Rice! Love to read her vampire stories, but alway have a dictionary close by. So the best thing to do, in my opinion, is balance out a story, and this story wasn't too far out with word choices. Just a thought!
I liked some of the good suggestions relating to philosophy and metaphysics such as: ‘ Then you are not burdened with the dogma of that craft.’ Placing a person in a responsible position when that person had not knowledge or direction in that field.
The ‘Mother-for-hire’ opens up a new idea, or maybe it is role-play for a prostitute towards a client. I gather from the story that it is something more that a classical man/prostitute relationship by the dialogue between the two. This scene pushed my boundaries of expectancy that I might find later on as I read the story, and there were some other events that caused me to muse over them after finishing the story.
The Navigator on the ‘ship of fools’ acted like exactly what he was: A person who doesn’t know anything about navigation, the sea or the creatures that inhabit the oceans. The ship seems to be manned by a bunch of fools since sea-faring people know not to ‘rape’ a Mermaid or Mer-Girl which must be similar or the same thing as a Mermaid. But then again this story doesn’t follow any rules about Medieval Europe or ancient civilizations. Sword and Sorcery or near Sword and Sorcery stories are always open to creative and unlimited boundaries-- Sci/fi comes close. And this story shows that.
Bits of humor inhabited this story which did pop up now and then. The poor brides especially the ones at the top of the hill must be property of the Kingdom. Their use is determined by the mood and wishes of their prospective husbands! I can’t understand them completely for the ones higher up on the hill must be undesirable for reason that I can’t discover.
The Hangman, the maids and brides to be, the Navigator and the Lock Keeper the Winnows, Mer-girl and the ship of fool, makes an interesting reading but one that should be studied for its true meaning, if there is a plot or subject matter. I can’t see any real plot to it, and I can’t find any real symbolism associated with the events give.
As I said at the beginning, it reminded me of something Ron steiger would
be in!!
A good interesting read. Some good suggestions and like I said the unique
use of 'A mother for Hire' based on a prostitute.
A good one!!
