Aphelion

Excellent wrote story, and one that should be read and studied by all. Marina Julia Neary is a heavy-weight contender when it comes to writing!!

This story reminded me of A Shadow and a Flash by Jack London. Like this one, London’s story centered on two young men, and each developed the means of invisibility but through different approaches. London’s two characters were extreme rivals in everything including love for the same girl.

I agree with Bill Wolfe one hundred percent. Superb uses of the most important techniques of story-tell which leads to the reader being sucked into the story from beginning to end!

I agree with Bill’s take on the first-person, and realize how correct he is when he stated that the first-person can be wrong. I never thought about that before.

When I was younger, in the 50’s and 60’s, I liked Jules Verne, Jack London and Edgar Allen Poe, along with some others. It’s nice to read a story in their style, yet modern!

I think I'm going to copy some of her techniques!!

In some ways, she seems to be critiquing us! That's just a feeling that came over me as I finished my critique, and I can't really explain it!!

Great One!!!

If I had to criticize anything about this story, I'd say it was maybe a little too heavy on internal conflict, and a little light on action . . . needs a little more balance between the two. That might just be my modern preference showing itself, though.

Still, it's an unusually fine achievement, from the characterization to the period voice and feel. The author really soaked herself in that stuff. I think that if this had been presented as a newly-discovered manuscript written by Wells himself, there'd be a lot of people lining up to agree.

I tend to harp a lot about character development and conflict (especially when I don't find enough of it in a story). And from what I've seen of the current markets, a lot of editors feel the same as I do: the term "character-driven" is pretty common in magazine submission guidelines these days. This story has both, in exceptional depth.

Outstanding, on all counts.