The Pathetic Motley Clown by M.B. Barlow
Posted: June 16, 2007, 04:40:01 PM
Good use of dialogue throughout the story, and I could feel the medieval atmosphere as the story developed.
I think just the right amount of sensory input and description washed over this story. Not too much but just enough.
I couldn’t pick up anything to really nit-pick about except to remember to edit it over and over again. I found some mistakes.
King Katush might have benefited from further character development, but that is probably just a moot point, along with the others. Some readers like strong character development, and others not so much. But I can add that the characters in this story definitely were not flat!!
Overall, the story seemed to balanced well, but at times I had some difficulty in following along, but not much. Mr. Barlow is from Scotland and I am from the hills of Pennsylvania. I’m sure with some of my writings he would say the same!! Little differences in dialogue and explanation between two English speaking people from different areas of the world are to be expected! And I wish to point out I had only a little here and there.
It was a nice story, well written and one that could hold my interest!
For his first story, this one is a success!!!
I think just the right amount of sensory input and description washed over this story. Not too much but just enough.
I couldn’t pick up anything to really nit-pick about except to remember to edit it over and over again. I found some mistakes.
King Katush might have benefited from further character development, but that is probably just a moot point, along with the others. Some readers like strong character development, and others not so much. But I can add that the characters in this story definitely were not flat!!
Overall, the story seemed to balanced well, but at times I had some difficulty in following along, but not much. Mr. Barlow is from Scotland and I am from the hills of Pennsylvania. I’m sure with some of my writings he would say the same!! Little differences in dialogue and explanation between two English speaking people from different areas of the world are to be expected! And I wish to point out I had only a little here and there.
It was a nice story, well written and one that could hold my interest!
For his first story, this one is a success!!!