Aphelion

These are getting better. I recall I didn't much care for the last one, but this one, I liked.

I have a little problem with some of the word usage, though, such as:

wound crazily with pipe that twisted and curled in hackneyed coils

It's colorful and all, but a bit distant from common usage. I had to check Webster's, and got, "adj. 5. let out, employed, or done for hire. v.t. 6. to make trite, common, or stale by frequent use." Not quite how we usually see that word used, but -- who knows, it might catch on.

And then there's:

rage feeding exhaustion

Shouldn't that be "rage overcoming exhaustion" (or something like it)?

And if that's all I can find to complain about, this story must be all right.