"Shadow Aspect" by Timothy Pottery

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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: "Shadow Aspect" by Timothy Pottery

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

J.I.Charles wrote:I like the idea of this story, just not the content of it.

I don't know if it was the pace, the setting or the bland characters, but half way in I found myself wondering how much more I had left.

One of the main issues I had with this story was the lack of progression of Jamie's mental state. Jamie is a pacifist, he has been his entire life and he is absolutely fine with it, he embraces it like a religion. There was no indication that Jamie felt some form of resentment with his belief; he just genuinely accepts his stance on violence so much that practicing a martial arts for self defense is utterly impossible.

Yet somehow Jamie went from one extreme to the next faster than a a fat man at an all you can eat. There was almost zero inner conflict with his change and his justification for it seemed lackluster at best.

I don't know if I'm making sense or not, working 14 hour shifts can do that to you (I'm on my lunch break) but I just couldn't dig it.

I give this bad boy 4 pepperonis outta 9.
I suspect that the old adage "power tends to corrupt; absolute power tends to corrupt absolutely" applies here. It's easy to be a pacifist (aside from the occasional beating) if you don't have a shotgun grafted to your arm. Jamie (a) learns he has power (b) starts out using it (he thinks) to help people (c) discovers that he has actually been hurting people (d) resents being called on it and lashes out (e) discovers that he kinda LIKES being able to hurt people... The most extreme anti-smoking activists were smokers; bullies and serial killers often start out as victims themselves. (See the movie "Chronicle" for another study of how some people should never, ever, be given great power.)
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
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Lester Curtis
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Re: "Shadow Aspect" by Timothy Pottery

Post by Lester Curtis »

Wow, now I want a knight in shining armor, too! Except, if everyone has to speak in such stiff, unreal sentences, it wouldn't be worth it. Never mind.

Amazing, what a half hour of hypnosis can accomplish -- they didn't even use drugs . . . now, why does my head hurt -- ? Oh, I know -- it's from reading off a computer screen too much.

At least it reminded me why I never thought much of Jungian psychology. I've learned that every time I think I see something at the edge of my vision and it isn't there, I know that it's just a reflection in my eyeglass lenses.

Mr. Pottery needs to refine his writing style, beginning with realistic-sounding dialog. After that, I think he should work on developing better characterization.

The plot wasn't bad, but I think he took it too far with all the 'shadow' creatures manifesting too much in the physical realm.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: "Shadow Aspect" by Timothy Pottery

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Lester Curtis wrote:Wow, now I want a knight in shining armor, too! Except, if everyone has to speak in such stiff, unreal sentences, it wouldn't be worth it. Never mind.

Amazing, what a half hour of hypnosis can accomplish -- they didn't even use drugs . . . now, why does my head hurt -- ? Oh, I know -- it's from reading off a computer screen too much.

At least it reminded me why I never thought much of Jungian psychology. I've learned that every time I think I see something at the edge of my vision and it isn't there, I know that it's just a reflection in my eyeglass lenses.

Mr. Pottery needs to refine his writing style, beginning with realistic-sounding dialog. After that, I think he should work on developing better characterization.

The plot wasn't bad, but I think he took it too far with all the 'shadow' creatures manifesting too much in the physical realm.
That transition -- to the Shadow Knight (in Shining(?) Shadow Armor) killing real-world cops -- was a bit reminiscent of Neo becoming a human EMP generator in the Matrix sequels. Where does the energy come from? (In my Majius stories, "mana" is present in the world at large (except in some dimensions or realms, like Prufrock's home) and can be channeled to varying degrees by people (and other creatures).) Where did Neo's energy blast come from? Or Jamie's physical-world-affecting (but still invisible?) Knight? e=mc[superscript]2[/superscript] -- so m=e/(c[superscript]2[/superscript]), a tiny mass requires a honking big amount of energy to create it. Less energy would be required to generate the effect of a blade (breaking molecular bonds along a line extending into a subset of a plane (cross-section of a neck), but still... But hey, just think what would happen if they applied that hypnotic technique to stop people from smoking. They'd stop, and probably cause any smokers in their line of sight to spontaneously combust!

(PS -- is there BBCode for superscript? 'Cause [superscript] and [super] don't work.)
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
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