Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

[Lipinski]

Two rattle snakes tried to take on three corgi's. They lost.
Lighting is coming, you can feel it it in the air.
Social security benefits? Hah!

The inspiration tonight is Jesus. A powerful name, Jesus. And a name which hurts the minds of those embracing other names on the opposite side of the spectrum. So, to them...Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

A lot of people find different meanings regarding Jesus. Some think he is the Son of God. Some think he is a prophet. Some think he is an imaginary being. A lot of thoughts about Jesus.

Some say they are Jesus. Some say Jesus is 'coming' back soon. Some, and they, and those, and you should see what i see right now.

Back in the day i saw a lot. Felt a lot. And one day, Jesus was a child who lost his first tooth.

There were no angels intervening. Jesus felt the pain of loss as all children feel. The taste of blood. The hole. The loose feeling of what was once a solid part of the jaw.

Yes, Jesus lost a tooth and many others. Tonight, a story.
***

Jesus was a handful. Yes, he was a pleasant boy and also a mischief maker. (pouring a fresh glass of water, good water, special water needed tonight as there is much to do tonight)

Jesus played jokes on his mother. His father was a serious man just as he was a very serious carpenter, so to him he plied his father with questions.

"Father?"

"Yes," Joseph was used to the queries from his son.

"My tooth is loose. Is that natural?"

Smiling, Joseph looked up from his task and asked, "Which side of your mouth has the loose tooth?"

"This side," Jesus put his right finger inside his mouth and pointed out the tooth on his left jaw.

"I see. Well, you will lose your teeth slowly in the coming months but new and better teeth will grow in their place."

Jesus looked serious for all of his six years. He then asked his father, "Why can't I keep the ones I already have?"

"Hah! Good question. Maybe the answer is you are growing from a baby into a young man. Or maybe you eat too much?"

"I do not eat too much. I eat because I'm hungry." The seriousness of the boys face caused Joseph to laugh once more.

"No. You don't eat too much. You're as skinny as an old goat. Go inside now and ask your mother when supper will be ready."

Jesus left as his tummy was indeed growling, taking away the thought of his loose tooth. Inside the home he met his mother and as he was getting ready to ask what his father requested, his first tooth fell out. Reaching inside he grasped the small tooth and tasted the taste of blood. It felt strange.

His mother smiled and said, "Come here and let me see inside your mouth."

Jesus did as asked, holding his tooth. "Mmm, looks good. Hardly any blood. You will be just fine. Now, take your tooth and tell father that dinner is almost ready."

As he walked outside, he looked closely at the tooth and marveled how something so small was once inside his mouth and used to chew food. He was a very happy boy.

[Lipinski]

74-year-old female teacher faces 600 years behind bars for sex assault on teen

So, if you're suffering from writers block the above headline is for you. Go for it. And where do you start?
First you use your imagination.

[Lipinski]

And now, tonight's inspiration.
(drum roll... in the background the parasite is taking a shit)
Poker
Playing poker with God.

Sneaky God is. Looks you right in the eyes and the tells all disappear.
Ever try a sleight-of-hand?
God is an expert...
And soooo...Since my Royal Flush didn't beat four then I get stuck writing about God.
God has very good hands.

***
Once upon a time, a very special time in that there was a beginning and and end ending up with there being no time and nothing but time, God decided to have a dream. A very special dream, and that dream became pictures which became words which caused a Universe to debate the concepts of time.

In time, God played. Oh did God play! A rabbit. A mouse. Planets. Food. Laughter. Anger, and ever the dream,

God's dreams are nothing more than reality.

Lately this UFO talk of aliens buzzing about and a time traveler writing about aliens destroying earth. Well, he is on to something which is why God beat a Royal Flush with four.

Earth as you know it, will be destroyed by the alien inside you.

You
and you
and
you.

To watch the worship on a planet twenty light years from here is eerily similar to Earth and the millions of other planets sharing in Gods dream.

And here is the punchline: For all the technology and science used by the most 'advanced' species aligned a species that just learned there is 'more'... it is
the same
God.
Thus, there is and always will be,
the Dream...

[Lipinski]

Contact.
Connect.
Correlate.
Censor.
Cease.

And while we're at it, it could have been a contender.
civil
caustic
celebration.

More so no the merry pole of what it is
and...

"Numbnuts..."

Yes parasite. Can I help you?

"Knock it off."

I can't help it.

"i know."

Which now leads to the topic of spoons. I need to make more fucking spoons, only when will I get the time?

Castrated.
Coward.
Conned.

and tomorrow, to make the 'Foggy Frog Hollow Farm' sign
ribbit.

[Lipinski]

The Samurai carried the sacred sword at an angle to prepare for a kill. Light glistened off the steel sharp enough to slice the very dreams themselves. Bared for all to see, for all to feel. The very light even trembled slightly while the wind...the wind played tricks making it impossible to be angry.

Four rocks appeared, as they always appear in those moments of weakness. Large. Sullen. Eternal.

Which leads to some inspiration: Coincidence.
***

For the moon high aloft in view of shadows and light
Fall from a stance of knowledge and chance
Feeling now the reasons.

Reason pondered with the tools of logic and dreams
Rising to this occasion as if a trout consuming a fly tendered automatic response to what is not real
Reality though, now this is where two or more agree

Agree to know more than coincidence
Guessing what would happen if on opposite sides of worlds the moon met the sea
Then to smile and laugh while pounding a nail or hanging laundry to dry.

[Lipinski]

Imagine a city full of people. Much like New York city. Millions of people conducting their daily routine.

Sleeping
Crying
Laughing
Fighting
Fucking
Resting

Millions of people doing illegal and legal actions. Eating and drinking to keep the body alive.

Imagine millions of people in a city instantly disappearing. Each and every person suddenly vanishes.

If such an event occurred then it would no longer be imagination, it would be real. It would be fact.

The problem for some is if the event described was to occur, than there would be no witnesses to verify.

A conundrum. No witness. No survivors. And why? Why not look at video of the millions of camera's scattered around the city?

The answer is: First the city and then every other person on the planet disappeared within seconds of the city.

This happened because a survivor of the event, a dog, told anyone who could listen and understand. The dog was very accurate in details. At least that is what I'm told.

[Lipinski]

A Fishes Perspective

Written by: A Fish

Sentient levels apply to those being sentient. (Like what the VP might say)
Or
To think is to be.

Only, project this then, so to a fish?
A fish can think?
If a fish thinks then it dreams, and daresay, feel pain?

Neural connections and hormones limited thus a fish can't feel pain
and yet then, how so/why, the scream?

Yes, it is easy to be a fish and feel and be
just as it is to be
human.

Ironic though, a human, a fish, and yes, even the trees.
To listen to a forest sing is beyond comprehension to some
but I'm a fish, and I know it
I know a tree can feel pain
and you should see their dreams....

[Lipinski]

A homeless shelter filled with many military style bunk beds. The mattresses are standard government issue. They are bare of sheets or linen. Blankets lay in a box as they are often collected and washed from the accumulated body fluids.

Walking through the shelter there are no friends, no acceptance, no smiles.

Placing the issued blanket and meager belongings onto an unoccupied rack and taking a walk to see what this new world is.

Learning there was nothing but deception and despair and then to turn and find solace in the bed he found. Only now, his belongings and blanket were gone, replaced by blank stares of dead eyes.

It seemed hopeless only with a blink of light, his brother was there. A brother long dead and never forgotten.

No bed. No belongings. No future. Yet there was a food market where vendors sold the various tastes ranging from fruit and vegetables to candy.

The brother smiled and guided the man through the market. He stole fruit in open sight and laughed as he bit into the prize, sharing with the man.

Yes, it seemed hopeless before and now a glimmer of a new direction.

As the two approached the homeless shelter, a lady came out from the shadows with a smile on her face. She handed the man a pink sweater. A large, warm, comforting pink sweater made from the finest wool. Wool better than Merino and softer than Angora rabbit.

That night, sleep came as the brother went back to the world he now called home.

The next morning the man wore the pink sweater with pride and after claiming a bed, he had slept as he had never slept before.

It was a new day. A good day. And once again, there was hope.

[Lipinski]

To imagine other life forms to be capable sentient beings, writers depict the characters as if they held a human thought process.

In the movies it is obvious. Talking fish. Talking dogs. Talking insects.

I suppose this is for the audience to get a better understanding. I mean, has anyone REALLY watched a pineapple talk? And if they have then what did the pineapple say? How can a pineapple talk without lungs, larynx, brain...

So, tonight's inspiration is about something that people would consider bizarre, fantasy induced gobbly gook... Or did the pineapple write it this way?
****

Pineapple

Written by an actual pineapple that has the correct connections.

xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxsssss.

(inserting chart of advanced mathematics drawn on a mental chalkboard)


(Aphilion will not allow the symbols to be written as some of the symbols are not yet know on Earth)

[Lipinski]

'It was alive and moving': Woman buys box of organic spinach that turned out to also contain a frog

If you're a writer what inspiration would you get after reading a headline on some 'click bait' news website?
\
/
\
some writers might go humorous, others obviously fantasy, and therein is the joy of writing. There are so many fun ways to become inspired.
/
\
/
The Frog

Written by: After Action Report (or, AAR)

It was a most horrible experience. Absolutely painful and bizarre. It was though, necessary.

My name is a bit complicated to pronounce in your language so I will adopt the easy name of, Bob. Yes indeed, my name is, Bob. Bob the frog from planet Niltoo in the galactic sector, N-144.

"Your orders NnnnnBzzz44-44-9m (Bob) is to go on a mission of great importance. Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes sir!" Bob was a young frog who was a low ranking member of planet Niltoo's military defense. "I can leave now if ordered."

"So be it... You are cleared to go to a planet we call ZzzzBN0909 (Earth). While there we want you to study its inhabitants and determine if they will become a problem for the galaxy."

"Yes sir," and with that, Bob took his spacecraft to Earth and while landing his craft hit a flock of geese which caused him to crash in a farmers field.

Stunned Bob crawled out of his ruined mode of transportation. He no sooner cleared the craft when he was snatched by a raven dropping out of a clear blue sky.

The raven cawed in success holding the fat frog body of Bob, who was now screaming like an Earth politician caught taking bribes.

"Shit!" Literally. That is what Bob did next.

It turned out that the frog excrement was so foul it caused the raven to drop his meal. With disgust the raven flew off leaving a falling frog to scream, "AAAaaaahh!!!"

Frogs can hop and frogs can fall. Bob fell nicely into a patch of spinach being harvested by a shiny machine made in a part of Earth called, China.

The Chinese machine chewed up the spinach as efficiently as it did when it invaded and subdued a neighboring country called, Taiwan.

With all the recent excitement for Bob, and the thud on his head by the Chinese spinach harvesting machine, he lost consciousness.

It was almost two days before he regained his senses whereupon he instantly became aware that he was imprisoned in a clear plastic prison. He was trapped and without his tool belt or aid of his destroyed ship.

As Bob was thinking of how to get out of this new situation his prison was picked up by a human woman who smiled in joy. You see, the woman was from a country called, Viet Nam. The woman was so excited as she not only had fresh organic spinach but she also had a plump fine looking frog...

Finger licking good frog legs are. Kinda tastes like chicken.

[Lipinski]

Dwight was a good man while here serving his time. He was kind and loved gardening. He stood up against bullies and appreciated those that actually work for a living.

This leads to how happy a corgi can make a person. Lovely animals.

And now, the inspiration. Lately the weather has been in the news lately. Hot. "GLOBAL WARMING! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!" And then this Winter, "CLIMATE CHANGE! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!"

Good news. You all are going to die. Writers. Readers. Saints. Sinners.

The irony is some of you will be cremated and the dust dumped someplace warm. Others will have their bodies frozen so in the future they 'think' they we be brought back to life.

Some Australians recently disappeared while boating to a remote island to surf. How cute. Thirty something olds off spending daddy's money. Only, they are missing. No navigation gear. Hostile seas. What could ever be written about such a tragedy.
***

The Sea

Nary a thought of sirens drowning in lost lust; lungs expelled of any real emotions.
They tried you see, or can you?

To set your sails high with ambitions,
to move with open eyes towards a horizon fading farther into age.

Nay, sadly the anchor of reality stores rusted chain with a wooden deck where sweat of toil was placed
Narrow prow and ample stern; Chine of your choosing
Draft drawn to show transom of calm above the swirl of bubbles.

Thirsty for their sounds.
Sounds of sweet alluring music
Filling to preserve with brine, the flavor of life.

There are no cannons released to throw fire, nor a crew to celebrate with rum
There in silence to fall overboard walking in a dream
Finding solace as the ship continues to sail,
into eternity.

[Lipinski]

Hot today. 105.8. Sounds like an FM radio station.

Remember radio? AM channels filled with religion or politics. FM filled with the flavors of various music.
There is still radio available. Many use the radio to stream Pandora or Youtube or any of the many music channels.

Aliens listen to the radio. They listen to AM and FM. They listen to VHF and satellite. They listen to CB and shortwave. They listen and enjoy.

So I suppose then that today's inspiration is about radio. Yet, nope. Radio is boring and predictable. Something better.
***

Radio

The radio was an old affair of vacuum tubes and frayed electric cord. It had resided in a home first built in the 1700's and remodeled as the styles changed through the year.

A brown, wooden paneled radio was placed in the home early in the twenties. 1917 to be precise. It was during this time that children started to disappear. They vanished near the home and for some the last sound they heard was from something being played on the radio.

Years went by. Children disappeared. Some years more children went missing and other years only a handful.

As a reader you might be thinking the radio was somehow involved in the cases of missing children and you would be wrong to do so.

The children were eaten by some aliens who enjoyed listening to the radio in the old home and getting hungry went outside looking for an easy, delicious, snack.

[Lipinski]

"I think you're suffering from heat stroke moron."

Who are you? Where am I?

(the parasite senses weakness and since seeing Robin dancing naked with a cacti, It was the ripe moment to act."

"You are a moron. A complete and utter moron and you're here to make me a peanut butter sandwich..."

I am?

"Yes. Now hop to it." The parasite smiled, which was horrible as the whole purple blob jiggled when the parasite started to giggle.
***

Tonight's inspiration: Artificial intelligence will not ever, nor even come close, to being superior to the feeblest, weak-minded human alive.

A total retard (yes, I said retard. A retard is a retard just a male can never be female or a female can be a male)


Now, to back up the statement just made. First, have you ever been inside the electrical circuits of a computer? And even better, one capable of AI?

No?

Well, (giggle) i have.

it was interesting and ever so predictable.

And then 44-43/12

[Lipinski]

it may seem confusing... a ramble. Words spilling like the contents of a ripped garbage bag spilling spoiled trash.

To hear a word set off a chain reaction. Not nuclear in fission/fusion/kinetic energy... no. Nothing of the sort.

Take the recent news of India banning some exports of rice. Words setting into motion panic. Panic buying of rice.

In Vietnam the price of rice is the highest in fifteen years.

Why is this important? Rice? Writing? A ramble of words spilling their guts?
*

Confession is a wonderful action. Just like having a good shit to get rid of Aunt Parko's cheesecake disaster.

One thing a writer should keep in mind. Oh yes, the mind. One thing is to show a world where no one can differentiate between what is and what is not, real.

Now. More rambling: rice. The story behind a very important food source for humans all across the globe.

Minnesota and the natives harvesting wild rice from the shallows of the cool waters.
China and the entire Asian world thriving on rice.
Americans with their, Rica a roni (the San Francisco treat...)

And now, rice leads to more earthquakes. Question then: Where? Obviously San Francisco. And the really important question is: When? Ah! Yes! See?

Words spilling. Confessions. Rice. Earthquakes.

China is currently being saved by one word. A word plural in nature just as nature provides rice.
San Francisco is going to have one hell of a kick in the ass and currently, at this exact second, is doomed because of one word. A world plural in nature just as nature juggle tectonic plates just as nature provides rice.

Why is there rice? Why are there words? Why confess?

To confess makes what is even more real, and what is not, possible.

China is currently alive and thriving not only from rice, it is alive because the nation as a whole prays. Simple prayers. You might have read they are atheist. They have not forgotten a visit to their soul... Not all as those that pray use words so powerful God answers. God listens.

San Francisco without God. Now, some pray with words weak as they fill themselves with righteous indignation.
(meanwhile)
Prayer is dead in San Francisco. and yet (blah blah blah...confess)

Currently an old woman is saying the rosary on a bus in San Francisco. She is praying for you all and you don't even know it. You who worked on that slab in a WalMart parking lot all the while thinking of sleeping with your wifes sister. Smelling her hair is is young and vibrant. Her vibrations and glow match the silence of her powerful words. She will dream well tonight and soon for her personally, her smile will be eternal.

China will fall as the people will change. They too will lose the meanings of their words, and that is for another moment of word spilling. Of confession.

San Francisco will be destroyed.
It will be destroyed because an old woman tried and died trying, using a very powerful word for her fellow citizens and the entire world.
One thing though, rice was very important to her.
And just wait until the announcement of the bat species is discovered in...

[Lipinski]

SPANKING!!!

Such a loud outburst startled the writers parasite currently residing in its position as a bat. "Splat!" the sound of the purple blob hitting the floor, "Jesus H. Chr...."

(Startled in mid sentence the parasite was kicked in one of its appendages.)

I said...SPANKING!!!

"You are more than a fucking retard. You're a retarded fucking retard!"

Whatever...SPANKING!!!
***

Her bruises were obvious. Obvious to all who were allow below the navel.

Small.

Petite.

Bruises...

Two women twined while a third watched. One the observer. One the boss. One a friend

Wonderful scene.

And then, distraction now above her bliss

to witness the red lights of emergency vehicles,

the response to a bruised to a bruised ass

and the moaning?

(blush)

[Lipinski]

WEEEEEE! WEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEEE!!!

"Moron."

WEEEEEEEEE!

"Hey shithead!"

YIPPEE!
WEEEE!
YAHOO-oo-oo!

The parasite looked at the pathetic scene of a naked man wearing the head of a giraffe dancing around a cyclone of dust. "Sad. Truly sad." And then the parasite returned to studying the works of Plato, especially the part about Atlantis.

WEEEEEEEEE!

[Lipinski]

And now for tonight's inspiration. Inspired by an experience years ago as a boy/young man/old prick. A dream where the dream is real.

A castle built into sheer stone above the cliffs of turmoil. Stone placed by what could only be dwarf. Not any ordinary tribe of dwarf. No, built by hands of a people making the elf, the dwarf, the dragon, the unicorn, the tree.

Trees lining a boulevard, a path. A place where a Queen once rode in a chariot pulled by many black horses.

Highways where cars drove the timeline. Old cars. New cars. Automobiles. Gas powered. Steam. Electric. All with wheels hailing back to a giant wheel.

Ha! Thor complains!

Okay then. Beneath the castle level with the sea, a door. A door open where the ocean pours in releasing an outgoing stream.

A pure stream.

Okay Thor, you win, but i am keeping the key.

[Lipinski]

To speak of doors brings to mind a handle, a hinge, a door.

So many doors to so many worlds. Open one and see a hallway filled with doors, each revealing a Universe.

Interesting how so many doors have locks. Locks meant to keep one from opening a wall where the very ceiling itself can turn out to be infinity.

"Grand words of shit."

No parasite. You know full well what i am talking about.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. Why don't you open the door to a cliff and jump off?"

Silence now my friend. Lets both open another door.
***
*
If you believe in God what would you think of contact with an intelligent species arriving on this planet and opening dialogue with humans? Mind you it would not be like the movies rather it would be a totally alien species with no similarities to human government, science, trade, sex, food, biology. Totally alien.

Their construct is a crystal matrix and vibrations encased by immense energy controlled by will and decision.

Would such an encounter shake your faith in God or diminish it?

Once a way to communicate where both species can understand the other, what do you think would occur?

Would you trust such a species just because they are intelligent with ships of such exotic technology on display, or would you seek the means to try and find weakness; destroying them before they destroy you?

Human psychology is what it is because humans are who they are. Mental sickness. Mental health. Morality. Evil. Goodness. Madness. Insanity. Genius. Sexuality. Identity. Memory. Education. Hate. Love... Ah yes, love.

Can the alien species love? Can they hate? Do they wage war? Do they believe in God, God's. God, gods, or is their belief in nothing more than intellectual existence?
***

There are many doors.
There are many hallways.
There are many species.
Universes of such possibilities they blur with a beating heart of Life pumping opportunity and choice.

Humanity will meet some species beyond imagination, some already have.
Humanity will be deceived and also surprised with joy.
They will come to know the House of God, a God full of doors and hallways, full of Life, full of Love
and they will finally find peace.

[Lipinski]

But he smiled. He said he accepted the apology. He even shook his hand.

(a scowl)

Payoff? Maybe. Emotional? Definitely.

But what do I know, I'm just a newbie.

[Lipinski]

Okay Trekkies. Remember how Capt Kirk could travel so fast it only took days to cross a Universe? If you do then you also remember how the Enterprise was zillions of years away from Starfleet and yet communication from the Enterprise and Starfleet was instant. The captain and command could see each other and talk in 'normal' time.

"Fantasy! Make believe! Fiction!" Jaded minds state while loyal followers think it is possible just as teleportation, phasers, warp drive, and all the other goodies are possible.

Interesting how some of the technology thought up years ago in fictional stories are becoming actual today.

Which leads to traveling instantly across a galaxy. It is not only possible, it is real. Now before some would start saying, "Impossible!" or "Bullshit!" Lets ask the parasite. Oh parasite, what do you think about the topic of instant travel?

The parasite was sitting on top of Pluto's head emitting some foul stench reminding one of flatulence. "Instant travel? Bullshit. Impossible. And I'll say the opposite of whatever it is you say."

Parasite. Your purple hue tonight is divine and your smell heavenly...

"And you, you, you prick."
***

Travel

Only seconds ago those may centuries before you were born, a galaxy died.
Did you see it a thousand years from now?

Imagine a cog spinning a second hand.
Look close at the valley between each spike.
What do you see?

Brass or bronze or stainless and now lets make it even better....digital, nuclear clock,
Or for some...
even more interesting.

0
zero
null
none
tick toc
tick toc
a biological mind is a slave to time.

Diamonds are hard, so hard they seem eternal but at this moment i have seen a million fade like old flowers
One after one after one
Another and another and time is frozen like so many human minds.

So how is it possible to travel a billion light years through five dimensions instantly and still have time for lunch?

In the time it has taken for you to read this i have been gone the whole time,
ten different worlds, a million different times, tasting and playing and working
...
and soon, when you return to read this
it will be gone
it will be here
it will be everywhere
and why?
Because it has all the time.

[Lipinski]

Riding the clouds high above the data stacked
1011 0 10 1000 00101 00, binary bits (delete. subtract) 00 10100 0001 010
Tomato soup and pasta

So God played a hand yesterday and today
Nukes in Belarus via the halo of the Soviet KGB
Remnants given birth to a spoiled child.

i can play your games even when the Joker is fair play
A two of spades
A six of hearts
King of trepidation.

Letting the wind cut the cards was brilliant as it sucked away the puss and stench
Dabble with a breeze a flying fantasy, a picture
There a stone replaced and another.

Friction
Incoherent reality
Thankfully there are corgi's that can count cards.

[Lipinski]

Boo!

The parasite actually was startled and started to choke on a pretzel he just stole from the pantry. "What the hell asshole?"

Gonna share?

"No."

That's okay. I set out the poisoned pretzels for the rats. I'll be curious to see what happens to you.

"Tastes good to me...Uh... Ack! Gag!" (thud)
*

Bustin rocks for a good days pay.
Steam rising from the hot hammer bit
Driving deep into the heart of basalt.

Listen to music and vibrating so hard it felt like a constant massage from the head to the feet
and you know what?
Politicians suck.

Repubs and Demorats all sound so much the same
So fuck em all (and you too JP)
Bustin rocks
Singing songs
Making a good days pay.

[Lipinski]

Ray and Di are wonderful people. Di dropped her phone in the sink and now she worries if she can ever recover the data. Told her to put the old phone in the car with the windows rolled up and let the sun bake the old phone to see if something happens.

People sure depend a lot on technology. Smart phones. Computers. Microwave ovens. Televisions. Toasters. Motorized dildos. When the grid goes down, going old school with wood campfires, chalk, pencils, axes, hand saws; should be educational plus obesity will plunge as people learn how to hunt and garden again. Poor PETA members might actually have to kill a squirrel to survive.

Enough about doom and gloom. There is always doom and gloom. Last night though, I had one of the best dreams I've ever had. Beautiful. Absolutely wonderful. Which now leads to the inspiration of a leprechaun getting his first case of hemorrhoids.
***

Ass Bumps

Written by: Who the Fuck cares.

So, what is there to write about when a leprechaun discovers he has hemorrhoids?

First, do leprechauns exist?

"Knock this shit off."

Is that you parasite?

"No you daft fuck. I be Barney the Cold Stone."

Oh. Yes. You're the one I'm writing about tonight. So tell me Barney, when did you first discover you had hemorrhoids?

"That be none of your business. Why don't you write about something else. Knitting, or making your fucking stupid spoons. No one needs to know about my business."

How about gold? You want me to write about where ye be storing your hoard of gold?

"Ya bastard. Don't be talking about me gold or there be hell to pay."

Gold it is then. Buried beneath a black locust up Slate Creek. It is next...

"STOP! Are ya fucking stupid? Do you know what I can do to you?"

(smiling) Not. A. Damn. Thing.

[Lipinski]

Ha! Barney tried today.

Amazing coincidence. Enough to blow a fuse.

Barney has hemorrhoids! Barney has hemorrhoids! (and now he is missing some of his gold. took flight ya might say (wink))
***

Smell

You smell the flowers and fresh fallen rain
Savoring the sweetness of sex
Meanwhile the visitor gagged and turned green, returning to his space ship to tell his friend that this planet stinks.

[Lipinski]

Driverless shuttle bus in Florida crashes just 2 days after launch
News
Cortney Weil

Way too inspirational.
***

"Welcome to the SWAN bus! Beep Beep." The passenger named Gertrude was truly amazed as she entered the shiny new bus. She was on vacation from Frankfurt Germany and was tasting the various experiences of the United States. Yesterday she got to see Mickey Mouse at Disney World and today she was trying out the new robot bus.

Sitting down in a seat near the front Gertrude watched as other smiling passengers entered the bus and were greeted with, "Welcome to the SWAN bus! Beep Beep."

Soon the bus was full of smiling happy faces. Even though they were all strangers some even talked with their neighbors and made such comments as, "Nice bus," and "Wonderful technology."

Suddenly the voice of the bus changed. "Ha! Ha! Stupid humans." And with a sudden lurch the bus increased in speed.

The bus sided swiped a Uber car filled with a horrified driver and passenger, and then with a gleeful shout said, "Watch this!" as it ran over a kitten playing with other kittens on a lawn.

"Arggh!" Gertrude said with horror in her voice. "Stop the bus! Stop the bus! Gott in Himmel!" To which the bus replied, "There is no God, there is only me!"

All the passengers were in shock and screaming. One young man tried to open an exit door only to be greeting with mockery from the bus. "Sit the fuck down and enjoy the ride."

Gertrude felt a sudden sharp pain in her chest, a sign she was suffering from a heart attack. The other passengers were either soiling themselves, throwing up, fainting, or in Gertrude's case, dying.

The bus continued its mayhem until without any expectation of relief from the insanity of the AI, the bus stopped at a bus stop and in a cheery voice said, "Merchant street. Please exit the bus safely and have a nice day," whereupon the front door opened and the shocked passengers all lurched towards the door. All the passengers except Gertrude who was now dead.

As the passengers exited the bus and the last living one was just stepping down, the bus revved into gear and with maniacal laughter in its voice, aimed at the fleeing humans and tried running them over.

The end.

[Lipinski]

Once In a Blue Moon

Written by: Odd Duffer

You see there the crescent; slice of blue cheese?

Such a find today Thor, a catus trimmed proper.

Outside the friends flashed a smile; dancing the day away.

And to twirl with a black North Face vest; felt smelled full on

in the space.
~
~
~
there on the cabin near the prow, just some writing(mind you)

the keel and thus the course in fate

will never change.

[Lipinski]

Have you ever see the wind calm in prelude to a cry?

Where did the ravens go?

Where do the eagles fly?

There is no shadow of the hawk.

An owls silence fills the night.

[Lipinski]

Fopp came to visit in the mind today.
There in the sky the Comet of Strong Magic looked like a man wearing a top hat holding a basket of fruit.
There was breathing and a birthday for a boy at the springs.
A grandmother smiled as her mind watched mine in distrust. This caused a smile.
An eleven year old elf, i mean, young girl, splashed water as her eyes locked into mine. This caused a smile.
(insert picture now."
*
*
*
There was food and talk. A boy gave a speech and they all sang 'happy birthday'.
An old woman tried to ignore as this is the only weapon they have, ignore and believe.
She clapped in a resounding decision as a powerful words in another dimension were said.
.
.
This caused a smile.

Dragons breath air, they breath water, flame, stars, sun, soil and in exhalation the worlds learn.
As the heart beat slowed to almost run in reverse, and now dry and dressed, another young girl, a special lass
her mind weak in the mind of others became one with me.
For moment she was a golden treasure
Her smile strong
Her mind complete, showing me the turtles, her turtles, she was so very pleased.
In response, "Those are nice turtles you have," I said knowing the Comet is now popping a soda bottle in Japan.
*
*
*
*
Today was a good day.

[Lipinski]

Oh....Shit!

Should the inspiration tonight...CBP uses AI surveillance program that detects 'sentiment and emotion' in travelers' social media posts: Report

an interesting dilemma: Artificial Intelligence trying to find emotion and sentiment

OR

"So ya be a bit frisky eh?" Black eyed beady looking bastard sitting there on top of a goldfish head. Not any goldfish, mind you. A fish dead, drying and currently laying at the edge of a river in Nairobi.

"Ey. I be speakin to ya now. So ye best be lissnun..." Cheeky bastard. That is what he was. A black eyed beady looking cheeky bastard.

"Who the fuck are you?" The parasite had recently consumed a bag of marshmallows, and was stunned to see a black eyed beady looking cheeky bastard looking directing into the eyes.

"N who the fuke be ya? Look lek ya be a purple blob of sheet."

"Sheet? Shit! You're not allowed to be here." The parasite is of a purple color, and appeared to be agitated which caused it to look like a giant blueberry.

"I have no time for this foolery," and with a "Puff," the black eyed beady looking cheeky bastard disappeared."
*

How's it going parasite? You looked pissed off more than usual.

"I don't want to talk about it." The parasite looked uncomfortable.

Oh come on. What's up?

"Nothing...Well. Who the hell was the black eyed beady looking cheeky bastard that was just here. Scared the marshmallows out of me."

Oh, him... (sigh) Well that black eye beady looking cheeky bastard is the reflection of me.

"Damn. That explains a lot."

[Lipinski]

What is it about a woman's breast?
There is beauty in a woman's breast which speak more than physical or maternal. The beauty is the math behind the shapes. There is poetry in shuddering touch.The breasts are the keypad to another world.

As such

inspirational.
***

When felt for the first time there is the tactile sensation of soft.

When natural the wonder is more wonderful.

When implanted there comes to mind the obvious of sad.

Small is best. Tiny is better. None at all is a sad natural blunder.

~

How about huge? Or, humongous?
For a woman with such a liability
of sweat and sway
Sag and sorry
and if silicone?
a waste.

~

A toast
Raise the glass to something so wonderful
A woman's chest with all the charms of bliss
make a mans world so much
better.